My bestie and I always have the most interesting conversations. I’d be lying if I said we didn’t have normal catty moments of talking about people (we live in a tiny town it’s hard not to) but we really do make a conscious effort to not talk about people. We try and keep it positive if we do and be very understanding of the fact that we have no clue what’s actually going on in other peoples lives.

Recently we were talking about life and death. Not unusual since grief is still all consuming in our lives. But it got me thinking about how wildly short our lives actually are. I’m reading through the Bible and to God we are just a blip. A tiny person who lives for like a minute in the grand scheme of things.

I’ve talked about my thought process tangents before so buckle up here comes another one. I thought of us being a blip and how we all think we are so important. Here’s where I split. On one hand we are here for literally a second on the grand scale of the world so what’s the point? There people who are so smart, so intelligent that they do nothing with their lives because everything would be easy. They end up riding bikes and bumming around Santa Cruz because they are already bored with the world. Nothing challenges them and competing in the work force is offensive because they could breeze through everything.

On the other hand I think of the satisfaction when I’ve worked hard through out the day. I think of how good it feels to be there for a friend and how we make each other better people. When parenting is so hard I ask God why he thought I could do this, there’s usually a moment when something shifts and Rylan gives me a hug and everything falls into place. That moment is so satisfying and makes this blip we are living so worth it.

So we may be a blip. But in our blip it’s the whole world. We choose to keep things positive and to work hard because it feels good when we accomplish things. I can’t imagine being so smart everything is easy (I’m far from it) but I’m also proud of every little accomplishment and thing I get right. Even things I get wrong are a lesson designed to make me better, stronger, more compassionate.

These are the conversations I love having with friends. It doesn’t add any value in my life to talk about other people and to be honest it’s none of my business anyway. Someone said “what other people think of you is none of your business” and that hit me so hard. It’s true. Someone doesn’t like me… it’s their business. As long as I’m not a total dick than it most likely has nothing to do with me in the first place but is actually a reflection on whatever they have going on.

I could tangent off in a million more ways but I need more coffee.