When I was pregnant I read all the parenting books. Okay, most of the parenting books. Okay two. I read two parenting books. But one I hated and couldn’t finish and the other I became obsessed with. French parenting. Yup I posted about it on here a million years ago. I was in love with it and even my dahling husband thought it was great. Even though he said it all seemed like common sense and kept insisting we weren’t French. We are absolutely French.

Rylan is 7 now. Can I just say that no book can help me now? No book could have prepared me for the chaotic morning of getting homework done, breakfast ready, the “comfort cat” she needs to always have with her, the candy gram fundraiser (side note to whoever planned that shit…you’re a dick), the look of betrayal on my kids face when she realizes we’re going to be late to school or the tears at drop off.

I’ve made huge efforts this year to prep the night before. The book Atomic Habits has been atomically life changing. This week I forgot to prep. Okay I didn’t “forget” but I was exhausted the night before and we went to sleep. This just ruined our morning and left me dropping off my daughter with her in tears, and me driving away also in tears. She’s alway liked things a certain way. Her teacher described her as a “perfectionist who likes everything done her way. But don’t worry she’s shocking still making friends”. So when she realized how scattered we were and that she was going to ruin her perfect attendance record by being late the tears came quick.

Add to this shit storm the fact that there’s a fundraiser for some camp or other where they sent home “candy grams” for $1 you could send a candy gram to your friends. So naturally my perfectionist wants to know what happens if she doesn’t get one. We don’t believe in participation trophies in this house so I was trying to teach a life lesson. “We’ll little duck you might not” to which she responded in sobbing tears. Great one mom. I’ll be accepting my mom of the year award any time. There better be a sash and tiara.

But honestly she might not!! You know there’s going to be some kid who doesn’t get one. But instead of comforting my kid I said the truth and then when she was upset I dug in harder with the excellent life lessons. “It’s going to be okay. If you don’t get one, who cares! The next day it’s your birthday and you’ll bring cupcakes and no one will even remember the candy gram”. I may have slipped in an “everyone can suck it” type of phrase, I’m not sure. I’m on fire this week guys.

The comfort cat. Oh that furry little bastard. Her friends all still bring little toys and animals and stuff so it’s not weird (yet) that she brings her stuffed animal cat to school. But when we forget it it’s the end of the world.

Let me just say that I love my kid more than anything. Nothing is more heart breaking than sending your kid to school sobbing and having to pull her little arms off you and give her a push to go to class. All while trying not to break down in tears myself.

To answer the same question my mom asked. No, I didn’t go get the comfort cat and bring it to school. I had to get to work and as we’ve already established I’m not a good mom. Although I do think I was being a better mom by but not getting. She came home and said she had a great day at school and was totally fine. No permanent harm done. To her. I on the other hand am traumatized and talking to my therapist about mommy issues. Only the mom in my issues….. is me.