FOOD!!!!!

9:30am *bing* a text from Pat: What do you want for dinner?

Me: I don’t care what sounds good?

Pat: I don’t care you choose I chose last night.

Me: 1) no you didn’t 2) I’m already exhausted and don’t care

This is every single week day of our lives. Welcome to marriage I’m told.

So I’m on a mission to find what works for us. What will prevent that text message every morning from coming in? Or what will change it to a thinking of you text or an I love you message? I’m guessing changing dinner won’t do that but hey a girl can try.

First we tried Hello Fresh. It was good. Super easy to use I really enjoyed the first week. I let Pat pick what we were getting because he’s pickier than Rylan our 3 year old. Well close anyway. He liked it to but was not sold on spending the money. I feel it was a good deal and we spent less money on food that would go bad later.

Second we tried Sun Basket. I said we didn’t I? I meant I. My mom and I tried one of the meals and I did one on my own. I know my husband. That’s a solid no on SunBasket for him. To me it seemed healthier than Hello Fresh. The options are all healthier. I did choose gluten-free so I’m not sure if there’s a normal people diet on there or not that Pat might like better but I don’t care enough to check. Cancel that one too.

I haven’t tried any other subscription mail delivery ones. The next adventure now that we will be home for a while is PrepDish.

Here’s what Prep Dish is. Its meal planning and prep for the lazy girl (that’s me). They give you 4 dinners, a side, breakfast, and a snack and desert. They give the meal plan, the grocery list, a day of prep for the meals for the week and the menu. Everything my friend Shelley and other fitness people do all on their own. Like adults.

I apparently need someone to do it for me.

Pat does most of the cooking in our house. I know score right?! So while I put a lot stress on the situation it really isn’t that bad. Also he’s super easy-going so I’m being dramatic on the whole thing. But it would be nice to have control on this weight loss journey of mine. I don’t think I’ve talked seriously about it but I’m trying to get my weight down.  So on top a meal service having to be husband and toddler friendly it has to be mommy weight-loss friendly. I’m losing sight of the point to this post.

I got two free weeks of Prep Dish so we will see how this goes. I’m going to give it a try. I like it because I want to grocery shop and have the prep I just don’t want to plan. This way we have the planning and Pat and I can make adjustments so we will all be happy. I have extremely high hopes for this. If this doesn’t work I’m going to have to call in Shelley do help me and just pay her to even grocery shop for me.

Back up plan number 8… move in with Shelley and pay her rent.

If anyone has any other suggestions that’s not a meal delivery service I’m open to trying it.

104 Degree Panic Attack

“Where the thermometer? I think she has a fever!” I yell to Pat as I’m changing Rylans diaper.

“She doesn’t have a fever we just checked it an hour ago” Pat rolls his eyes as he hands me the thermometer.

I love that he can roll his eyes while doing what I want. No matter how ridiculous he always humors me.

That was a little less than 3 years ago. Every new mother has a thing. For me her thing was her temperature. I can feel the judgment from here, yes I’m sure I had more than one thing but at this point the fever was my biggest obsession.

I took her temp constantly and was always worried about her having a fever. She ran super hot all the time. Mainly at night and that hasn’t gone away. I’ve just learned that if I have to question if there’s a fever or not… there’s not.

Which brings me to this past 2 weeks ago. She woke up crying and when I picked her up there was no doubt she had a fever. We snuggled on the couch and she was so warm I considered turning on the AC.

I took her temp and as expected it was 102. It ranged from 100 to 104 for the next two days. I know I should have taken her to the ER right away but I work in a medical office I know how this goes. It’s a virus and there’s nothing they can do but alternate Tylenol and Motrin and keep her cool and do baths…yadda yadda yadda. So that’s what we did.

Come Thursday morning her temp had started to go down on its own but we made an apt for her anyway. Turns out it was a double ear infection! One of which had possibly ruptured! Awesome job mom.

Nothing makes you feel like a worse mother than NOT taking her to the doctor, only to find out she has a ruptured ear drum. I will no longer question whether or not to take her in. If I’m thinking about I’m doing it. Bring on the hypochondriac comments I’ll take the punch.

My 3 year old sassy pants did not even complain this whole time. The same kid who threw herself on the ground and screamed because I tried to put the wrong pants on her never once mentioned that her ears hurt. That’s the only thing saving me from really believing I’m a terrible mom.

Not even a week after this happened she’s feeling better and wanting to read stories before bed time again. We were reading the book “The Sleep Fairy”. To whoever bought that book for me I think you owe me money for it. Who busy a book as a present that makes the parents buy their children presents every night they sleep in their bed by themselves? We are on a budget! I’d rather her sleep in bed with me!

Luckily for me my kid is a little weird and after listening to the whole story cuddled in to me very concerned. She put the book down and said “mama, if the sleep fairy tries to come in my room and put something under my pillow while I’m sleeping….I’m going to scream.”

I’ve never been more proud! Glad she’s feeling better and back to being feisty. Next time we are going to the doctor. Then I’ll buy her a present!

Nothing To Say Really..

It’s freezing. Not raining just freaking cold. Which is super annoying because I have been waiting for rain. I have the rain boots. I have a jacket (although I think I need a new one since my mom informed me this one is not cute). I have an umbrella, even though it’s not a yellow one to make me happy thinking of How I Met Your Mother every time I use it. There’s the perfect gift for me! In case anyone was wondering.

But no rain! I can’t handle another drought so everyone please do your rain dance or help me get a ticket to Seattle because mama needs some hard-core, reading by the fire, pointless to do your hair, makeup running, moving kissing, RAIN!

On the bright side it’s almost CHRISTMAS!!!! I am that super annoying person who started my shopping early and felt super good about myself until last night when I looked under my tree and didn’t feel like I had gotten nearly enough for everyone. That’s what happens when you are on top of it. You get it done early and forget what you got!

Oh well it happens. This year I’m just happy to be spending time with my family. We alternate years and this year its Christmas eve with my side at Nana’s. Rylan is super excited that Santa is coming but she’s a little nervous about him coming in our house while we are sleeping.

My weird little 3-year-old concerned about a strange man in our house. I’m not sure whether I should be proud or judgmental of my parenting and making her paranoid. I’m going to split it down the middle and say its just funny!

She has only asked for a sit n spin. That’s it. That’s all she wanted.

Meanwhile she has room full of toys. Both ones she uses and ones she refuses to let us get rid of. We try to smuggle them out when she’s not looking but she has her dads weirdo talent of being able to notice small stupid things that get me in trouble. “That’s a new shirt” No it’s not I’ve had this. “No you just got that I’ve never seen it before”. Thanks hubby. Next time can we just do a cute little dance and pretend you don’t notice when I get new things and I can pretend to be sneaky like I’m getting away with it? You know, like a normal couple!

Anyway! This weekend my goal is to talk Rylan into giving away unused toys. I want to teach her to donate them and share with kids who need it more. This is how I see it going in my head. We get a few bags and she helps me put toys in that she is okay giving away and we donate them together.

Here’s what will actually happen. She will scream bloody murder that she plays with everything and we can’t get rid of anything. I will get mad and take her to my moms and then get rid of everything that annoys me that I know she doesn’t play with. She will come home and want to know where the tiny part of the broken toy she doesn’t use is. She suddenly needs it.

But I don’t care because she’s going to get all kinds of presents and needs to learn how to appreciate the things she gets/has. I always knew that we were so blessed I should really ask my mom how she did that. Good job mom!

Other than that I haven’t posted in a while. Getting ready for Christmas and recovering from Body Combat training has taken up most of my time. Also recovering from my traumatic spider incident. See previous post for that disaster.

So cheers to everyone I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!

 

 

 

 

Spider Fiasco

I don’t like spiders. AT ALL. They are creepy and unpredictable and anything with that many legs has an agenda that I don’t want anywhere near me! Don’t even get me started on the eyes and the hairy ones.

It started as a wonderful Saturday morning. Pat had to work and Rylan woke up at 6 only to get back in bed with me and snuggle till 7. Ah the peaceful snuggle that comes from not knowing there is a massive spider on the wall across the room staring at you. Those were the days.

We woke up and saw the spider and I freaked! First of all this thing was the size of my fist. If Rylan says it wasn’t, remember she’s 3 and she lies. I texted Pat a picture and he called right away to tell me to kill it.

Ummm no. Not going to happen. Pat told me to get a stool and hit it with a shoe. Heck no I’m not getting that close to it. Then he told me to get the swiffer and hit it with that. Did you not hear me say how big it is? It needs to die not just get poked and angry. He still told me to “man up and kill it already”.  Then asked what I planned to do if it got away and was just living in the house with us.

I started crying. No I’m not pregnant I’m just that terrified of spiders. Especially ones that could eat other insects! (Okay that one could be a slight exaggeration)

I called my dad and when he didn’t answer I called my Grandpa. That’s right! My grandpa drove 20 minutes to come kill a spider for me.

He got to my house and I had my sweatpants tucked into my tallest Ugg boots and a sweatshirt with the hood on tied so you could only see my eyes. I had to keep an eye on it so it didn’t get away. I had one foot on the window seal and one on the bed and was holding the biggest Emily Post book ever made ready to throw it at the spider if I had to. Meanwhile Rylan is in the living room watching her show singing “itsy bitsy spider” thanks kid. Thanks a lot.

The spider had crawled behind the tv on the shelf and was in a pile of my other books. Papa started pulling them out and the real life Halloween decoration fell on the floor. Papa jumped, I screamed and threw the book on the evil little thing!

If something is big enough that it crunches when hit with a big book I don’t want any part of it!

So with the help of Emily Post and my amazing grandpa we killed it.

Rylan told Papa “it wasn’t that big” but even he will tell you it was!

I learned a few things from this spider trauma. First of all, papa rocks and gets major points for coming all the way there. Second, my best friends husband will not come to get a spider when Pat had told me to man up. Apparently there’s guy code and I’m excepted to handle it on my own! False. Hilarious conversations I never thought I would have.

But yes the spider is dead. I’m traumatized. Rylan thinks mommy is crazy!

 

The Griswold’s

The weather is finally starting to cool off! The leaves are changing into amazing fall colors and our tiny town looks like a post card for mountains in the fall. Except our house. Our house looks like the leaves have come alive and attacking our yard  getting ready to suffocate our house.

We’ve tried staying up on them. Its impossible if you have a day job to keep the leaves cleared. You can try in the morning only to come home to more leaves just to repeat this process 2-3 times a day. No thank you! So we are waiting till they all fall to do it all at once. Actually we are waiting till this weekend so we can start putting up Christmas lights. I don’t know if Pat knows this yet. But that’s my plan.

When Pat and I first got together he did some lights. Nothing special. I’d say sorry but I’m fairly certain he doesn’t read this. Not testing him, just saying.

When we bought our house… he turned into Clark Griswold and went nuts. Our bird house is 100 years old so we don’t have outlets like you would need to actually be Clark. But Pat was determined and for our first Christmas in our first house we had cords coming out of every window in the house. We had at least 6 blow ups and every studio, garage, tree was covered. It was amazing.

Our second year in the house I was pregnant. Well Rylan was born on the 16th but leading up to that I said no lights because I didn’t want the cords. I didn’t realize he would take it as a challenge to see how many lights he could put up without having to use cords through the windows. Again, it was amazing.

I believe last year I threw a fit over the lights. I say that like I forgot… I for sure threw a fit over the lights. We had waited too long in my opinion to put them up and I didn’t think it would be worth it. I said no. I didn’t want any lights. So when I went out-of-town and came home to lights the week before Christmas instead of being excited…I cried.

Here’s why I cried. I had said no I didn’t want the lights up. Rylan was almost 2 and not listening very well. I had a melt down thinking that no one listens to me about anything. Feeling like my opinion didn’t matter and that the rules that I set in place with Rylan or the house all only mattered to me. It was dramatic and ridiculous but it was how I felt and I can’t even say I don’t still feel that way a little bit.

This year I’m determined to enjoy the lights. Its thanksgiving weekend and I want to join him and his excitement over the lights. I think we may have ruined a few blow ups but we will make it work. I keep telling him I’m going to help this year and I can’t tell if he’s ready to let me help or planning to do it while I’m at work. Fingers crossed right?

We used to have a place in our town where you could get out and walk around and see different light displays. It was magical. I want our house to be that house one year. It’s a long way off and I have a lot of work to do on our back yard so that it doesn’t look like a scary kidnapping trap but once we get it done it could be so great.

We could have candy cane lane, and snowman village, and new age crap with minions and movie characters, even a whole section for the vintage plastic light up molds.  I have big visions for it but we’ll see. This will be my first year of actually helping and quite possibly my last.

So my minimalist ideas and goals go straight out the window when it comes to outside decorations. I wish I could decorate inside but I can’t. We do a tree but other than that you could walk in our house and not know if its December or June!

In other news I have given up on the book Fall of Giants. I loved it and feel like it’s a great read if I had the time to devote to it. I’ll pick up again after the new year but right now I’m needing an easy mindless read I can put down for weeks and pick it up and not be confused or have to retrace the last two chapters. So I’m reading nothing. Well I’m reading note for the Les Mills classes I’m teaching but that’s all I have time for a this moment.

I finished the  series Gilmore Girls. Holy freaking crap!!!! I adore that show and am so said its over. Although I’m not devastated because if you’ve seen the end you know that there is no possible way someone could end an entire show that way. If you could you are an A hole. That’s right producers I’m calling you out. Add more episodes or forever be categorized as a dick.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hard is Hard

Rylan is less than a year old and I’m trying to get her down for a nap while visiting my sister-in-law in Chico.

She’s flopping around and trying to talk and crawl away and is refusing to nap. I get frustrated and finally give up and take her to the stroller because I know that works. I’m frustrated and don’t have the energy to force it.

I come out of the room huffing and puffing and go to take her outside. My sister-in-law asks what happened and I start to tell her.

She laughs. “So she’s not crying or fussy, she’s just….awake?”

Me: “well yeah but its annoying I know she’s tired and going to get cranky and she needs to nap.”

I get why she’s laughing. It sound ridiculous when I hear it back to me. Later over a glass of wine we talk about it. She makes me feel better by reminding me that even though Rylan is a great baby and I have no idea how easy I have it, my hard is hard for me.

So while she can handle things and has infinitely more patience than I do, to me… this is hard.

Fast forward to Rylan being almost 3 and still I know how lucky I am.

She listens well and reasons for the most part. She argues at bed time and I want to pull my hair out. I’m sure there are a million moms that would look at our bed time routine and laugh at how frustrated I get. But its hard to me.

We all have no clue what going on in each other life and its so easy to look at every situation and say how you would do it differently. But you know what? It might not work. We all have to do what we know how to do and make changes where we need to in order to make things work for us.

For instance my hard right now (aside from bed time) is a kitten. Who would have thought that something that weighs just over 1 pound can make want to drink. Given, it was 3 weeks old when we were gifted it.

Gifted is a strong word. It was a trash can kitty my cousin found and my Aunt asked if we wanted it. I didn’t. At all. My darling, sweet, animal loving husband was supposed to be the bad guy and say no… he didn’t say no.

We’ve had it a week and its slowly getting better. Not going to lie, the first couple days I was cussing out my aunt dreaming of dropping it off on their doorstep knocking and running away.

The ONLY saving grace was how happy this damn kitten made Rylan. I mean they are buds. Rylan will sit and watch her iPad and this stupid kitten will cuddle on her back and sit in her lap and just snuggle. The smile on my kids face made me realize I couldn’t drop her off at the fire department. Wait is that kittens too?

So my point is everyone’s hard is hard. It doesn’t matter if we laugh at it and dismiss it or fully understand we could not handle that its hard. We all have support systems you just have to find yours. Find your people, your tribe, the one you can open up to about locking the kitten in the bathroom and turning up the radio so you can’t hear it cry. Thankfully my tribe is pretty big. They all understand me.

They also laugh at the fact that now that the kittens getting older and getting a personality she’s turned into a total little psycho.

I’ve had to delete 3 paragraphs from her stepping on my keyboard and throwing me off. In case you are wondering why she’s still living with us here are a few pictures.

 

 

Riding the Dragon


Me: I hate this kitchen!

Husband: Why whats wrong with it now?

Me: nothing it’s just a freaking mess! How did it get so messy we weren’t even here this weekend!

Husband: well it’s not even that bad. Its been way way worse, and it was like this when we left I don’t understand why it’s suddenly so bad.

He’s right. On our quest to become minimalist the kitchen has been cleaner than normal lately. I could do without him being right once in a while. But I take this as a sure sign that I’m changing as a person. The fact that some fruit, a bottle of wine, and the groceries that I just bought, on the counter is sending me over the edge. I’m turning into a cleaner person.

OR… The much more likely explaination is I have PMS. DUN DUN DUN *cue dark music and thunder clouds*

I have always had PMS ever since I was a teenager. If I have to explain what it is you are reading the wrong blog post! I’m not saying I get it every month. But once in a while there’s a month like this one that scares my husband, my mom, the dogs, and even myself just a little.

I can’t be alone in having little things send me over the edge. Little things like a dirty kitchen counter making me want to move. My husband not writing back fast enough results in a series of WTF texts and passive aggressive messages including but not limited to “its fine forget it I can go to the grocery store later. It’s not like I don’t have enough to do”.

I can’t be alone in thinking for 1 week that the world should revolve around me. That’s right the whole world! How dare people have other lives and not wait around for me to want to do something. Only to cancel on them at the last-minute because I want to be around people but don’t actually want to be around people. How can people not know that?!

I can’t be alone in being COMPLETELY irrational and out of control of my emotions. Its like seeing a red light and knowing, logically, that I need to slow down and stop yet I hit the gas anyway. I know its wrong, I know I’m not making any sense and that whatever I’m feeling/saying will be different in a week, but it doesn’t matter. I have no control of the irrational things I’m thinking/doing.

This is where getting rid of things can be a good thing. Its good timing when you’re irrational to throw away everything and get rid of anything that is in your way or doesn’t change you mood. Which is everything because there is no help for this mood!

People will tell you “exercise and get rid of caffeine”. Ummm what? Don’t drink coffee? I’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. That’s the worst idea ever! When you are the most tired and need all the help you can get…. don’t take it.  Exercise really does work. I also know this to be a fact. However, when I’m in the middle of a mood swing and some one suggest exercise, they better start running themselves because I want to throat punch them.

Did I mention I have PMS right now?!

I also have to say that getting yourself to exercise during PMS should be worthy of an award. Or at least a gift card. People say gift cards are thoughtless but let me just tell you… give a Day-o or Sephora gift card to a woman with PMS and she will switch moods like a toddler who just got their way.

To the women who think you don’t get PMS…. Yes you do. I’m sorry but its true. Its okay don’t be sad. Even if you truly think you don’t get it. You just don’t realize it. Again, it’s not your fault. Chances are your PMS has taken over your thought process and the bitch is lying to you. You are forgiven. Or maybe you really don’t get it and I just think you do because I have PMS and think you get moody when really its me.

See this whole thing is just one giant tornado of irrational thoughts and snarky comments. This is my disclaimer to anyone dealing with me this week.

I’m sorry.