LITERALLY Sick of Summer


“I want to punch you” my sister-in-law Jen says to me one day while I’m whining about being  a parent.

“I know, I know, we have it really good I’m just saying this is way harder than I thought it was going to be”. I try to justify myself.

My sister-in-law is the best. I scored big time! I’m not just saying that incase she’s reading this either its the truth. Anyone who knows her can vouch for that. Anyone who knows me knows I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.

She’s also totally justified in wanting to punch me for complaining. My husband and I live in our home town where we were born and raised.  When we first met I lived on “family hill”. My grandparents live right next to my parents, and I lived 3 houses down. My husband lived on “family court”. Lived in his parents down stairs close to his aunt and uncles houses but also one street over from my  aunt and grandpa. I swear our town is not as po-dunk as I’m making it sound.

Anyway when I went back to work after Rylan was born I was blessed with not having to find child care. Rylan was with my mom on Wednesdays, Thursdays my grandma and mother in law would share the day, Fridays she was with my dad. I’m shocked my sister-in-law still talks to me actually.

Jen lives in Chico and while she has family there (aunts and cousins) they all work full-time and don’t have the luxury of taking entire days off during the week to help her. So yeah, she’s allowed to hate me.

Friday of this week I got a sore throat. Like couldn’t talk, kind of sore throat. It quickly escalated to a runny nose and into body aches, hot and cold flashes, and an 80 yr old smokers cough.

I was pretty bummed it hurt so bad to talk because I was really looking forward to calling my best friends and singing Phoebe’s rendition of “Smelly Cat” in my sexy sick voice.

Not only did I have it but Rylan got it too. Which meant our weekend and the first Sunday football of the season was spent in bed being taken care of by my husband. Thanks to the TV in my room I got to watch my Raiders win. Thanks to DayQuil and Alieve I didn’t have to watch my Niners lose. I beat my other sister-in-law in fantasy so, you know, glass half full.

But come Monday Rylan and I were both sick and my husband had to go back to work. Never had I wanted to parent less in my life. I finally got a glimpse of what Jen deals with on a regular basis. Rylan couldn’t go to school because she was sick, my parents were both at work, Pats parents were both in Chico (well-played Jen haha), and I wanted to die. Not to mention no one wants to babysit a sick kid.

Of course my kid is sick but also has energy to run from her bed room to the living room, grabbing a bite of food, then back to her room to watch her show on her iPad. Yes she got it all day because I was dying. No mom shaming or Karma’s going to bitch slap you with my cold/flu.

Any way we survived on power aid, Dora the explore an over the counter medication. Oh and an offensive amount of essential oils. If you even walk by our house right now you might sneeze, feel, relaxed, and have your mood lifted all at the same time! Maybe give it some time though we were all just sick.

So ending the summer with the worst cold in history and sending Jen my sincerest apologies and promises to help more in the future. More trips to Chico, more taking her kids when I can, more nights out without the kids when she’s here. That last one just makes sense with so many babysitters in town we can have some much needed fun.

Side note: looking for cute sister-in-law quotes or pictures on Pinterest to add on here…. there aren’t any! They are all so mean! Once again bragging about how blessed I am. But thank you Jesus for two great sister-in-laws that don’t make me post horrible thing about them. So you got a picture of Rylan and her cousins instead.

 

 

Are You Ready For Some Football?!?!

ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE!!!!!!  Football season is here ladies and gentlemen!!!!

If you aren’t a football fan its cool, we can still be friends. Here’s why. Football season is so much more than amazing chances to be competitive and feel truly apart of a group. Which is one of the things I love about. I love rooting for the same team, trash talking, getting dressed up, and cheering like we have any effect on the outcome whatsoever.

But more than that I like getting people together to watch the games. Unless it’s a really big game because all the men around me think I talk to much. But otherwise its fun to get groups together to watch the games and talk. Make good appetizers and have a few drinks.

Really any excuse to have a party or get people together is good with me. Part of the glory of having a tiny house is that we don’t have a lot of room to entertain. Our living room is good for football if all you want to do is sit and watch the game. So bright side we usually go to other peoples house for the games.

For a long time it was my brother-in-laws house. It was a blast. Then we had Rylan and while we could still go over there and tried a few times, it didn’t work out with an infant. She would cry when everyone would scream and yell. Which was a lot. As she got older I worried about the F bombs that would fly around game time.

I’m over that now. She knows not to talk like that and will soon understand that football means she gets to hang out with her friends and eat good food and have fun. Or relax at home if that’s what we are doing.

So yes we love football in our house and everything that comes with it.

But wait there’s more!

Football season is also the season of fall and winter! I’m talking orange and brown leaves, cooler weather, sweaters, RAIN, Halloween, and the best of all… Thanksgiving.

So extremely grateful for thanksgiving. It’s like Christmas without the pressure of gift giving! Not to toot my own horn but my family has the best thanksgiving set up in the history of combined families. Every year my grandma does it at her house the Sunday before Thanksgiving so we all get to spend the day with the other side of the family and she is guaranteed to have all the kids, grand kids and great grand kid there with her. Beep beep beep beep!

Any way all of this is what football season means to me.

Not to mention my new introduction to fantasy football! What?!?! Yup that’s what I said. I’m in a fantasy football league with some girlfriends. A little friendly competition and yet another incentive to watch the games is right up my alley. I couldn’t have said yes fast enough.

Speaking of being competitive… Yes I am. Not with everything but with a lot of things yes. Mostly with things outside my control like fantasy football. I’m nothing compared to my husband and his friends. They take competition and superstition to a whole new level!

No joke. One year I invited my friend who I hadn’t seen in years over to hang out with me while we watched a playoff game. The Niners lost and they will not allow her to come over any more. On top of that I’m not allowed to bring anyone new to the house during important games. NO joke! It’s literally talked about at least a few times a year. Football and Baseball!

So while Sundays are a day of rest and family… in our house that means family, football, and food. Trying to keep it healthy this year so swimsuit season next year doesn’t suck!

Let the games begin!

 

 

Literal Labor Day


Yesterday was my birthday!!! September 4th!

Which means my mom was LITERALLY in labor ON labor day! I’ve always thought that was hilarious.

I love my mom. She’s a crack up and anyone who’s ever met her knows she has the biggest heart in the world. She means well in everything she does and truly cares about people.

In fact we always joke that she adopts homeless people. Not literally. Although we own a gas station and its goes in phases of being bum central. One lived in his trailer behind the store the entire time I was in high school. One lived in the bathroom for at least a month before my mom asked him to leave.

My favorite used to come and just hang out to talk to her. He was nuts. Exactly what you picture when you think of a homeless man. Finger-less gloves, talks to himself, has a dog. The only thing missing was the stick with the bag hanging from the end. I’m pretty sure I remember actual cartoon smelly squiggles coming off him.

Tangent number 1 complete.

My mom is sweet that was the point of that. She also used to joke that for my birthday she should get a present because it was, after all, her labor day.

I used to make fun of her for this. “Okay mom. It’s your world we just live in it” as I rolled my eyes. Or I’d sigh and say “it really is all about you isn’t it”. What a bratty teenager I was.

Now after being in labor for 36 hours myself I fully understand what she meant. Labor sucks no matter if it was a C-section or you pushed that giant thing out yourself. So funny to me that we always ooh and ahh over how tiny babies are. When your the mom who just pushed it out that thing is massive!

So it took 30 years but I finally understand what my mom meant. So when its your birthday. Don’t forget about what that day means to your mother. Because while we are all thankful for that day you were born… it was a rough one for your mom.

I used to think my birthday was amazing because it was labor day weekend and all the parties and fireworks were all for me. Wow sometimes I open my mouth or write something down and my mother comes out. This is the apple barely even falling from the tree!

So yes the parties were for me and there was always something to do.

Now at 32 there is nothing to do!

I’m sure there are still parties and lakes to go on but at this point in my life with a toddler I don’t wanna be around people.

I wanna go to the lake. Labor day weekend? Way too crowded. 

I wanna go out to eat. Forget it everywhere is packed.

I wanna go out-of-town and do something. So we can drive in traffic and take 3 hours to get anywhere decent where again there will be too many people? Nope.

My birthday this year was fantastic! I got to relax at home with my family and see my friends at different times throughout the weekend and even got to make some headway on the week. Yes, planning and cleaning made me happy on my birthday. I know I”m not alone in this.

Times have changed and I’m not the person I was at 21. Or even 30. I was so freaking fun back then!!! I’m still working on myself because we should never stop doing that. But this birthday has given me a great chance to stop and look and check in with my life. I love it!

I could list all the things going right in life but I won’t because… well barf. Who really cares. The point is I’m so grateful for everything I have and most importantly the people I have in my life. I’m surrounded by amazing people. A few weird ones in there but who doesn’t have a few crazy friends? Keeps me on my toes! Or maybe I’m the crazy friend?

Either way crazy or not I hope everyone had a great Labor Day and enjoys their birthday as much as I did. Don’t worry my birthday isn’t really over… I get the whole month of September. It’s just getting started.

Potty problems

“Mama can we get Reba today?” She very sweetly asked me after she went pee pee on the potty.

“Not today love we talked about this. It’s going to be a little while before we can get a kitten. You have to go on the potty all the time no more diapers”. I try to remind her.

Reba is a kitten at the humane society that loves her! If we were ready to get a cat she would be it for sure.

Yes I bribed my kid with a kitten to help with potty training. Except here’s the thing… it didn’t work!  I started this bribe about 6 months ago when she randomly went pee on the potty.

We thought “oh wow this is going to be so easy! She’s just over two and doing it all by herself”.  Oh how young and stupid we were!

She didn’t go for at least 6 months after that! Refused. Wouldn’t even sit on the potty.

I’m aware of all different “techniques” to potty train and I’m sure they’ve all worked for some people.

The 3 day method. Locking myself at home with toddler for three days and focusing on nothing but potty training sound horrible! I can’t think of anything worse.

The naked method. Letting her run around outside naked and encouraging her to go wherever. That sounds better but eh who has the time. Plus it’s hotter than hades outside and one accident in my living room was enough.

“Mama I poo pooed” she said to me as she handed me an EMPTY diaper.

“Okay love bug that’s awesome but where did you poo poo” I ask her even though I really didn’t want to know.

She takes my hand and directs me to the living room with the toddler poop sitting right in the center of the floor. I can just picture it. While I’m brushing my teeth she’s squatting on the living room floor watching Dora so proud she’s not going in her diaper.

So that’s a no on the naked method for us.

People have told us not to force it. Even my sister-in-law Dr Jen told us it’s not worth it to push her. That she’ll start doing it one day without even having to be told.

This was a relief to me. To be honest I was getting sick of everyone constantly asking her to go pee pee on the potty. My husband would ask her every 15 minutes to the point where I would answer with a “she just told you no! Let it go!” I meant for that to stay in my head. Sorry honey. 

Sure enough a week ago she started going pee on the potty. Just like Dr Jen said she would. No warning, no pushing, no parents arguing, and 0 hours spent annoyed on the bathroom floor.

We have a long way ahead of us and are now in the midst of false alarms and accidents and the nightmare of public restrooms.

I respect her curious nature and while I laugh when it’s not my kid, it’s humiliating when you’re trying to pee and your toddler gets on the nasty floor to see “what that lady doing mama?” Ew child get off the floor and now we have to sit in here till she’s gone!

I don’t think there’s a support group for potty training mom’s like there is for breast feeding but feel free to message me. We can support each other. 

Also we still have not had to get a kitten. Silver lining. 

Book Club – The Other Einstein


I have written and rewritten this review at least 4 times. Why? Because no matter how much fluff and justification I try to come up with I keep circling back and deleting and trying to find nice politically correct ways to say Albert Einstein was a dick.

This was a great story of his first wife. She was a rock star to put up with his crap for that long. I had to continuously remind myself that it was a different time back then and with her not actually passing her exit exams it changed the course of her life. I also feel like she didn’t pass because of morning sickness and that it’s all Alberts fault. I’m kidding. Kind of.

The fact that she was one of the first women to be accepted to University makes her noteworthy in itself. But add to it the fact that she was majoring in physics and could have had an amazing career is just great.

I’m not sure if this was authors fiction or not but on a personal level I loved the way she was searching for God in physics. Even through the death of her daughter she searched to find God’s plan and purpose in physics. At least in the story causing her to come up with the theory of relativity. I’m not sure if that part is true but I like to have faith she was searching for God and found him.

After reading this book and the letters Albert that are published on Princeton University’s website I say there is no way that she didn’t at the very LEAST contribute to the theory of relativity. They were married and lived together and HE even stated in his letter that they worked together. This combined with the fact that once they split up she continued to get his prize money from the Nobel Prize from that theory just tells me she helped if not more.

In the book I found it maddening that time after time Albert would do some A hole move and she would struggle internally before forgiving him. This was probably the authors design but holy moly it was infuriating. It also makes sense during that time period that with two sons to think about she would feel trapped like their future relied on Albert and didn’t want stain their reputation with a divorce.

I want to understand that but being a mother in 2017 I just have a hard time wrapping my head around it.

So lets say for a second you take out the “fiction” in this historical fiction. Albert was still an ass! He still left her name off any published work, had an affair with his cousin, and sent his wife a ridiculous list of demands forcing her to leave him or live as a slave for the rest of her life. In the book at least she left him and I cling to that ending in hopes that that’s what actually happened.

No matter how much of this historical fiction is actually fiction, I believe it. I’ve read the articles I’ve looked at dates and came to the same conclusion that the author did. Obviously I didn’t research as much as her but was fascinated from the start.

I never even knew Albert had a wife! Possibly because I have seen pictures of him and thought it was a stretch to think that hair would be considered “charming”. But mostly because NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT HER!!!! I’m 32 and this is the first I’ve heard of it.

I’m extremely grateful for this book and hope that others read it and it sheds some light on the “great” Albert Einstein.

I also encourage people to look further into the amazing life accomplishments of this woman.

Here are a few links I found

Jame McNab shares an excellent point of view and says it better than I ever could. Click here to read  He’s also responsible for the cover picture. High five James.

Here’s an article from Scientific American that offers more facts as well.

Here is the most fascinating link Princeton University Letters to Mileva

 

 

 

 

Cold Showers

I don’t have much social media. I don’t do Facebook, I don’t have Snapchat, I don’t tweet. I have Instagram and that’s it. I like pictures.

I used to have Snapchat and I think that’s where I read an article about a 30 day cold shower challenge. My first thought was “what an idiot” which is exactly why I had to read the whole article. She mentioned that at first it was death then she would get used to it and her body would adjust. My second thought was “liar”. but none the less I kept reading and it kept my interest.

I have always taken offensively hot showers. Like I want my bum to be bright red when I get out of the shower. So the thought of taking a cold shower made me shudder.

Then I read that it would clear up body acne, make my hair shiny, and help speed up my metabolism. Okay.. Keep talking…I’m considering it now.

I came to work super excited about this new information and a coworker said she’d be interested in trying it out as well. Okay now I have a buddy to try this with. Moral support not actually taking cold showers together. Just to be clear.

So we started the 30 days of cold showers! Thank goodness it was the start of June and already warm out.

I started with just cooler water than I was used too. I tried going straight cold and was instantly mad at the world. I decided to ease into it. I don’t wash my hair every day because I don’t have to (thank you Jesus!) so when I wouldn’t wash my hair I would go as cold as I could.

It took a while but after about a week or two I started to really enjoy the coolness of the shower and was slowing inching the water colder and colder. Finally I didn’t

No joke I really did notice a difference. My skin was clearing up and my hair did look super shiny. Probably because the bathroom wasn’t so steamy and when I would blow dry it wasn’t creepy muggy in my bathroom. I didn’t notice a difference in my metabolism but that’s a whole other issue I don’t expect cold water to fix.

The biggest surprise to me is how crazy clean I felt afterward. Seriously deep clean. Probably has something to do with the fact that the bathroom isn’t steamy and humid once you get out. Either way its amazing to be clean and feel super clean.

BONUS of the cold shower? I got ready super fast! No steamed up mirror to work around. It was like a nice pleasant surprise every time I got out and could start getting ready right away.

I continue to take cold showers now and its super refreshing every time I hop in and I find that my body has started to warm up and it doesn’t feel that cold anymore. I really don’t think this is all in my head either because my coworker has also fallen in love with and has continued with it for the last 2 months.

So while its shocking and sounds ridiculous give it 30 days. I take it back… give it 2 weeks. Usually by then you’ll know if its something you could handle or not.

I’m not sure how I’ll do when winter hits but I’m excited to have one more thing that makes summer less like a few months in Hades.

 

Flying Apples

 

I get these ideas in my head and once they are there it has to happen. My latest thing was going to up to the lake in the evening and staying for the movie under the stars at Pinecrest Lake. If you haven’t ever done it you should, its amazing.

My husband rocks and I know if I pushed hard enough he would go and make the best of it but he doesn’t love crowds. So when I found out he was going to be gone for the weekend I figured it was the perfect chance to do something I wanted to do that he wouldn’t have enjoyed anyway.

Friday’s my dad watches Rylan and I had the day off so the stars aligned and it was the perfect plan. During her nap I’d get blankets and towels and snacks all packed up and ready so when she woke up we could head to the lake an relax before the movie. Also to save seats because normally its packed.

She woke up, we picked up my parents and headed up the hill. As we were driving, a junky car full of teenage boys was coming towards us and arm stuck out of the back seat window. I don’t know if it was an apple or what but a red ball looking thing came flying at our car and hit my headlight.

I didn’t know it was my headlight at first only that it sounded like we hit a freaking deer and it scared the bejeezus out of all of us. My mom said it was an orange but really her vision isn’t great so her testimony wouldn’t hold up in court. But she was right it was about that size so we assumed apple. Mainly because a tomato would not have made the explosion sound that whatever it was did.

I was fuming! Honestly who throws things at cars like that. I was deliberate too so save the soft voice “oh it was an accident”. No it wasn’t. If it was your kid who did it, your kid is a dick.

It could have hit my windshield. It could have made me crash. It could have hurt my child by crashing our came through the window itself.

I have no control over other peoples kids and I know that “boys will be boys”. But can we try to raise our boys not be little assholes.

I can do nothing except try to raise my daughter to be respectful of other people. I am going to try my hardest to teach her that we do not intentionally cause harm to other people. It’s not okay to deliberately cause damage to other people’s property.

I hope that I raise her to be compassionate and kind and to make good choices. I pray about it every night. Literally in those words! “Dear Lord Jesus, I pray that you give me the tools and patience to raise my daughter to be compassionate, kinda, and to make good life choices.”

This had created a new prayer for me. I pray that Rylan grows up resilient to the cruelty in the world. That when things like this (or much worse because that’s inevitable) happen that she doesn’t let it get her down. That she doesn’t become jaded. I pray that she finds the lesson in all the crap. The silver lining is always there.

For instance this apple throwing dickhead reminded me of the lessons I need to be teaching my daughter. Silver lining.

Luckily I have good insurance and drive a sturdy Yukon that could take a punch. But what if I didn’t? What if I was a single mom who could barely afford liability and just wanted to take my kid to the lake for the evening. That could have ruined the trip!

It didn’t ruin the trip. We had a magical time and it was everything I had pictured in my head. We relaxed, we had snacks, the water was amazing, the movie was cute, and Rylan lasted the whole movie against all odds.

I don’t know who the kid was who shattered my headlight but I know that Karma is a bigger bitch than I am. Not to mention its her only job. I’m pretty exhausted being a mom. Who works. With dogs…. yeah she’s got this.