Sick Parenting

If you haven’t given your sick toddler fruit snacks for breakfast when their sick just so they’ll eat something, are you even a parent of a toddler?

That happened this morning. We spent Saturday in Urgent care and yesterday in the doctors office followed by the Emergency Room. Diagnosis: Pneumonia.

I learned a lot about our family in this Emergency process. I learned  my 3 year old can play opossum with the best of them. That’s right faking lethargy. I mean she was sick and tired and just wanted to cuddle but she wouldn’t even react when the doctor is listening to her lungs or to the pulse ox on her finger. Didn’t lift her head from my chest when a doctor or nurse was in the room.

When we leave the office she’s instantly Chatty Kathy asking pat where he was, and what took him so long to get there, and if we are going home, is he coming, why is he riding with us, and the best…telling us she’s fine and just wants to go watch Goldie and Bear. Opossum.

What I didn’t learn and am still trying to figure out is how do you parent a sick child? Where is the line between giving the fruit snacks for breakfast and totally losing control of your French parenting lifestyle goals? We try to be French and have a frame work of rules. I know we fail a lot but we have to have goals right?

For the most part we do okay. She listens pretty well and knows when we are serious about things. She gets time outs and yes I’ve patted her on the but before. But do you spank a sick kid? Do I put her in time out because she’s crying over the wrong color gummy vitamin? That seems a bit harsh since she clearly doesn’t feel good. On the other hand eat the damn gummy or cry in your room mommy is also tired now too.

Still this is a struggle for us. When you do stick to the rules and when do you let things slide because quite frankly when I’m sick the rules and expectations of me can suck it.

Its been a few days since I started writing this and I’m no closer to figuring it out. The only thing I can say is that she is a champ at taking medication! Even yucky antibiotics. She takes it herself and I feel like she’s in training for tequila shots. She takes the meds, has a juice chaser, and gets a gummy vitamin treat right after. Lick the salt, take the shot, suck the lime? I swear I’m a good mom! We can get concerned when she starts asking for chasers.

I think our saving grace was that I can use “doctors orders” for a lot of things! Threatening with having to go back to the hospital has also worked really well in my favor when trying to get her to do things. So bribes and blackmail is what it sounds like. Basically no different from my normal parenting style. Awesome.

To be clear there was a ton of cuddle time in my house. It was the silver lining that when she’s sick she just wants me by her side snuggled if the couch. Can’t complain about that one bit her snuggles are the very best. My hair can wait a few days to be washed anyway.

I found this podcast and am obsessed. Sounds like a tangent but its relevent I swear. It’s a parenting podcast and seriously the best one I’ve found yet! Here are  two links that literally had me laughing out loud while I was doing dishes and driving to and from work.

This is on sick day hacks   the other is on Whats up with toddlers

Seriously I feel like these girls are my spirit parents. One is great with research and both are just hysterical and so real. Refreshing and great with advice. Better advice than bribes and blackmail!

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Fear of Sutures

“How is your incision site?” My husband asks about 2 weeks after I had a C-section with our only daughter.

“Not sure, I haven’t looked at it”. I was 100% honest because I was too tired to lie. Also too tired to lie about having put on the ointment he gave me. I hadn’t been doing anything he recommended. I didn’t check it and it was my own body.

Rylan is 3 years old now. Her cat (Reba) is now 12 weeks roughly. I thought we’d celebrate her 12 weeks of life by taking her to the vet and getting her fixed. Happy Valentines Day!

My mom is amazing and kept Rylan over night on Valentines Day for us. We appreciated that mostly because I had to get the cat from the vet and wasn’t sure how Rylan would react to her being all drugged up and having her stomach cut open.

Through this I have realized something about myself. I am freaked out by stitches and open wounds and surgery.

It’s not going under that scares me. Its not that the blood although that could be part of it.

While driving home with the drugged up kitty I realized that I was scared her insides were going to fall out. I’m aware this is extremely irrational. But that was my fear driving home. We were going to hit a huge pot hole or I’d turn too sharp (I’m not a very good driver) and she would go flying, hit her cage and the whole wound would open up and she would die.

Same thing when the dog got spayed and even when I had my C-section. The thought that this cut was recently opened so a doctor could play with my organs is just too much for me. I don’t want to touch it. I’m scared of infection, I’m scared it will hurt to touch it, I’m scared that if I touch it its going to pop open and start some sort of zombie take over.

So facing my fears today I went to check on the cat. By myself. Sober. She was asleep comfortably on her little bed that she normally attacks and purred when I pet her. I tried to gently roll her over and when she resisted I thought “well I tried”. Gave her a kiss and went back to work.

Thanks to Reba I’ve realized a new fear I wasn’t fully aware that I had. Awesome.

Internet frustration

Okay I’m going to go on a first world problem rant.

The internet. The best and worst thing to ever happen to us. This instant gratification has spoiled and quite frankly ruined us.

Me in particular. I didn’t need another reason to be impatient. I didn’t need another distraction from life. I was fine singing the wrong words to songs and waiting until a certain actresses name came to me in the middle of the night.

What I’m not fine with is depending on it so much. Trying to submit my BodyCombat video for certification now and this is the 978th attempt. Slow internet, loss of connection, low battery, and just straight timing out has all been a factor at least once!

Not to mention I got it submitted only to get an email that it failed. Well shit.

The email also came with 4 other forms of technology that I could use to send this video of myself teaching in. NOT MY FAVORITE.

I hate looking at myself. Not because I think I’m fat because I’m working on that but because it’s me. I just don’t love it.

So while it downloads I have a few hours to look at my hunched shoulders and funky sports bra choice. Awesome.

*5 hours later*

Video is submitted. I feel like I should have a camera on me like the Blair Witch Project.  Sweating, snot, blood-shot eyes the whole thing.

But the video is in. All I can do is wait.

Also the cat pulled down all the cords and everything that connected the internet so I had to restart everything. Yes the cat is still alive but I haven’t seen it in about an hour since I threw a stuffed animal at it and chased it behind the couch with a Swiffer mop.

Again I’m aware its first world problems. But really as amazing as it is…. the internet sucks.

 

Struggling Pluviophile

Okay I live in a beautiful area in California. We get all the seasons!

Normally.

Right now while the east coast is getting slammed with snow and weather, here in the California mountains we are getting… well tan.

Not the good tan that most people like. Not the full body tan you get from a swimsuit and fun day at the pool or beach. Nope this is just a face tan. Because while its cold as a mother.. it’s also sunny out. Or sometimes not even all that cold! Its like spring here already. In January. I’m going to cry.

I remember missing school because it used to snow and we could go sledding down the hill behind my house. Or even missing school in high school because it rained so much the little creek that ran through campus overflowed.

I’m not missing any work because of weather and it’s not okay.

I love the rain so much and feel so deprived of real weather. Not the natural disaster weather I just want some rain. I want it to rain longer than 12 hours please.

Think about this summer people… if we have a crappy winter your lakes are not going to be that great either! Remember the drought?!?! That was horrible. I know there are bigger problems that just lakes in a drought but for the sake of a mom blog lets jus focus on how this effects me. Of course I prefer winter and rain to the summer but I have to say better lakes makes for a better summer.

Not just because I’m the wife of a superintended at a golf course either. Although that adds to the worrying of the weather. It’s also another mark on the pro list my husband is making to buy our own golf course.

Not happening.

As good as it sounds to own your own course and operate it, I like the stability that comes with working for someone else. Oh wait there’s no stability in the golf course business. My bad.

I grew up with my family owning business so I know it’s not a cake walk. Its more like musical chairs. And all the chairs are on fire. And there’s only one hose and its a drought!

That’s extremely dramatic. It was wonderful having our own business but its a lot more work than anyone who hasn’t done it realizes. So that’s why I’m hesitant to buy a golf course. Oh and who just buys a golf course? Maybe one day but certainly not till we get some weather. Or until it starts raining money.

So if everyone could say a prayer and do a dance for me I’d really appreciate it. Not just for the golf courses but for me. A person who just wants some rain, a book, a cocktail, and her 3-year-old to cuddle with her and relax.

104 Degree Panic Attack

“Where the thermometer? I think she has a fever!” I yell to Pat as I’m changing Rylans diaper.

“She doesn’t have a fever we just checked it an hour ago” Pat rolls his eyes as he hands me the thermometer.

I love that he can roll his eyes while doing what I want. No matter how ridiculous he always humors me.

That was a little less than 3 years ago. Every new mother has a thing. For me her thing was her temperature. I can feel the judgment from here, yes I’m sure I had more than one thing but at this point the fever was my biggest obsession.

I took her temp constantly and was always worried about her having a fever. She ran super hot all the time. Mainly at night and that hasn’t gone away. I’ve just learned that if I have to question if there’s a fever or not… there’s not.

Which brings me to this past 2 weeks ago. She woke up crying and when I picked her up there was no doubt she had a fever. We snuggled on the couch and she was so warm I considered turning on the AC.

I took her temp and as expected it was 102. It ranged from 100 to 104 for the next two days. I know I should have taken her to the ER right away but I work in a medical office I know how this goes. It’s a virus and there’s nothing they can do but alternate Tylenol and Motrin and keep her cool and do baths…yadda yadda yadda. So that’s what we did.

Come Thursday morning her temp had started to go down on its own but we made an apt for her anyway. Turns out it was a double ear infection! One of which had possibly ruptured! Awesome job mom.

Nothing makes you feel like a worse mother than NOT taking her to the doctor, only to find out she has a ruptured ear drum. I will no longer question whether or not to take her in. If I’m thinking about I’m doing it. Bring on the hypochondriac comments I’ll take the punch.

My 3 year old sassy pants did not even complain this whole time. The same kid who threw herself on the ground and screamed because I tried to put the wrong pants on her never once mentioned that her ears hurt. That’s the only thing saving me from really believing I’m a terrible mom.

Not even a week after this happened she’s feeling better and wanting to read stories before bed time again. We were reading the book “The Sleep Fairy”. To whoever bought that book for me I think you owe me money for it. Who busy a book as a present that makes the parents buy their children presents every night they sleep in their bed by themselves? We are on a budget! I’d rather her sleep in bed with me!

Luckily for me my kid is a little weird and after listening to the whole story cuddled in to me very concerned. She put the book down and said “mama, if the sleep fairy tries to come in my room and put something under my pillow while I’m sleeping….I’m going to scream.”

I’ve never been more proud! Glad she’s feeling better and back to being feisty. Next time we are going to the doctor. Then I’ll buy her a present!

Nothing To Say Really..

It’s freezing. Not raining just freaking cold. Which is super annoying because I have been waiting for rain. I have the rain boots. I have a jacket (although I think I need a new one since my mom informed me this one is not cute). I have an umbrella, even though it’s not a yellow one to make me happy thinking of How I Met Your Mother every time I use it. There’s the perfect gift for me! In case anyone was wondering.

But no rain! I can’t handle another drought so everyone please do your rain dance or help me get a ticket to Seattle because mama needs some hard-core, reading by the fire, pointless to do your hair, makeup running, moving kissing, RAIN!

On the bright side it’s almost CHRISTMAS!!!! I am that super annoying person who started my shopping early and felt super good about myself until last night when I looked under my tree and didn’t feel like I had gotten nearly enough for everyone. That’s what happens when you are on top of it. You get it done early and forget what you got!

Oh well it happens. This year I’m just happy to be spending time with my family. We alternate years and this year its Christmas eve with my side at Nana’s. Rylan is super excited that Santa is coming but she’s a little nervous about him coming in our house while we are sleeping.

My weird little 3-year-old concerned about a strange man in our house. I’m not sure whether I should be proud or judgmental of my parenting and making her paranoid. I’m going to split it down the middle and say its just funny!

She has only asked for a sit n spin. That’s it. That’s all she wanted.

Meanwhile she has room full of toys. Both ones she uses and ones she refuses to let us get rid of. We try to smuggle them out when she’s not looking but she has her dads weirdo talent of being able to notice small stupid things that get me in trouble. “That’s a new shirt” No it’s not I’ve had this. “No you just got that I’ve never seen it before”. Thanks hubby. Next time can we just do a cute little dance and pretend you don’t notice when I get new things and I can pretend to be sneaky like I’m getting away with it? You know, like a normal couple!

Anyway! This weekend my goal is to talk Rylan into giving away unused toys. I want to teach her to donate them and share with kids who need it more. This is how I see it going in my head. We get a few bags and she helps me put toys in that she is okay giving away and we donate them together.

Here’s what will actually happen. She will scream bloody murder that she plays with everything and we can’t get rid of anything. I will get mad and take her to my moms and then get rid of everything that annoys me that I know she doesn’t play with. She will come home and want to know where the tiny part of the broken toy she doesn’t use is. She suddenly needs it.

But I don’t care because she’s going to get all kinds of presents and needs to learn how to appreciate the things she gets/has. I always knew that we were so blessed I should really ask my mom how she did that. Good job mom!

Other than that I haven’t posted in a while. Getting ready for Christmas and recovering from Body Combat training has taken up most of my time. Also recovering from my traumatic spider incident. See previous post for that disaster.

So cheers to everyone I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!

 

 

 

 

Hard is Hard

Rylan is less than a year old and I’m trying to get her down for a nap while visiting my sister-in-law in Chico.

She’s flopping around and trying to talk and crawl away and is refusing to nap. I get frustrated and finally give up and take her to the stroller because I know that works. I’m frustrated and don’t have the energy to force it.

I come out of the room huffing and puffing and go to take her outside. My sister-in-law asks what happened and I start to tell her.

She laughs. “So she’s not crying or fussy, she’s just….awake?”

Me: “well yeah but its annoying I know she’s tired and going to get cranky and she needs to nap.”

I get why she’s laughing. It sound ridiculous when I hear it back to me. Later over a glass of wine we talk about it. She makes me feel better by reminding me that even though Rylan is a great baby and I have no idea how easy I have it, my hard is hard for me.

So while she can handle things and has infinitely more patience than I do, to me… this is hard.

Fast forward to Rylan being almost 3 and still I know how lucky I am.

She listens well and reasons for the most part. She argues at bed time and I want to pull my hair out. I’m sure there are a million moms that would look at our bed time routine and laugh at how frustrated I get. But its hard to me.

We all have no clue what going on in each other life and its so easy to look at every situation and say how you would do it differently. But you know what? It might not work. We all have to do what we know how to do and make changes where we need to in order to make things work for us.

For instance my hard right now (aside from bed time) is a kitten. Who would have thought that something that weighs just over 1 pound can make want to drink. Given, it was 3 weeks old when we were gifted it.

Gifted is a strong word. It was a trash can kitty my cousin found and my Aunt asked if we wanted it. I didn’t. At all. My darling, sweet, animal loving husband was supposed to be the bad guy and say no… he didn’t say no.

We’ve had it a week and its slowly getting better. Not going to lie, the first couple days I was cussing out my aunt dreaming of dropping it off on their doorstep knocking and running away.

The ONLY saving grace was how happy this damn kitten made Rylan. I mean they are buds. Rylan will sit and watch her iPad and this stupid kitten will cuddle on her back and sit in her lap and just snuggle. The smile on my kids face made me realize I couldn’t drop her off at the fire department. Wait is that kittens too?

So my point is everyone’s hard is hard. It doesn’t matter if we laugh at it and dismiss it or fully understand we could not handle that its hard. We all have support systems you just have to find yours. Find your people, your tribe, the one you can open up to about locking the kitten in the bathroom and turning up the radio so you can’t hear it cry. Thankfully my tribe is pretty big. They all understand me.

They also laugh at the fact that now that the kittens getting older and getting a personality she’s turned into a total little psycho.

I’ve had to delete 3 paragraphs from her stepping on my keyboard and throwing me off. In case you are wondering why she’s still living with us here are a few pictures.