Riding the Dragon


Me: I hate this kitchen!

Husband: Why whats wrong with it now?

Me: nothing it’s just a freaking mess! How did it get so messy we weren’t even here this weekend!

Husband: well it’s not even that bad. Its been way way worse, and it was like this when we left I don’t understand why it’s suddenly so bad.

He’s right. On our quest to become minimalist the kitchen has been cleaner than normal lately. I could do without him being right once in a while. But I take this as a sure sign that I’m changing as a person. The fact that some fruit, a bottle of wine, and the groceries that I just bought, on the counter is sending me over the edge. I’m turning into a cleaner person.

OR… The much more likely explaination is I have PMS. DUN DUN DUN *cue dark music and thunder clouds*

I have always had PMS ever since I was a teenager. If I have to explain what it is you are reading the wrong blog post! I’m not saying I get it every month. But once in a while there’s a month like this one that scares my husband, my mom, the dogs, and even myself just a little.

I can’t be alone in having little things send me over the edge. Little things like a dirty kitchen counter making me want to move. My husband not writing back fast enough results in a series of WTF texts and passive aggressive messages including but not limited to “its fine forget it I can go to the grocery store later. It’s not like I don’t have enough to do”.

I can’t be alone in thinking for 1 week that the world should revolve around me. That’s right the whole world! How dare people have other lives and not wait around for me to want to do something. Only to cancel on them at the last-minute because I want to be around people but don’t actually want to be around people. How can people not know that?!

I can’t be alone in being COMPLETELY irrational and out of control of my emotions. Its like seeing a red light and knowing, logically, that I need to slow down and stop yet I hit the gas anyway. I know its wrong, I know I’m not making any sense and that whatever I’m feeling/saying will be different in a week, but it doesn’t matter. I have no control of the irrational things I’m thinking/doing.

This is where getting rid of things can be a good thing. Its good timing when you’re irrational to throw away everything and get rid of anything that is in your way or doesn’t change you mood. Which is everything because there is no help for this mood!

People will tell you “exercise and get rid of caffeine”. Ummm what? Don’t drink coffee? I’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. That’s the worst idea ever! When you are the most tired and need all the help you can get…. don’t take it.  Exercise really does work. I also know this to be a fact. However, when I’m in the middle of a mood swing and some one suggest exercise, they better start running themselves because I want to throat punch them.

Did I mention I have PMS right now?!

I also have to say that getting yourself to exercise during PMS should be worthy of an award. Or at least a gift card. People say gift cards are thoughtless but let me just tell you… give a Day-o or Sephora gift card to a woman with PMS and she will switch moods like a toddler who just got their way.

To the women who think you don’t get PMS…. Yes you do. I’m sorry but its true. Its okay don’t be sad. Even if you truly think you don’t get it. You just don’t realize it. Again, it’s not your fault. Chances are your PMS has taken over your thought process and the bitch is lying to you. You are forgiven. Or maybe you really don’t get it and I just think you do because I have PMS and think you get moody when really its me.

See this whole thing is just one giant tornado of irrational thoughts and snarky comments. This is my disclaimer to anyone dealing with me this week.

I’m sorry.

 

Traditions

 

In a world that’s rapidly falling apart and dividing itself, there are still a few things I find comfort in.

  • My morning coffee.
  • The fact that Rylan will argue over bedtime.
  • Nana will get us pajamas for Christmas.

It’s the little things in life.

When I was growing up we always had traditions. Thanksgiving was celebrated with Nana the Sunday before so that she could have everyone there. No excuses. For Christmas it was always Christmas Eve. That one is a touchy subject so we’re just going to breeze by it for now. Sorry mom xoxo.

The holidays have always been a really big deal in my life. Example: Nana used to own a Santa costume and would pay someone to dress up and come to the house Christmas Eve. It was magical. Even the year it was Granny Doris and I realized Santa wasn’t real. I was older than I care to admit!

So as the weather starts to cool off, the leaves start to change, and bedtime is now getting earlier, I’m starting to think about the holidays. Rylan is going to be 3 years old this December and I want her to grow up with the same traditions that I had. I also want to make our own traditions with her.

Which leads me to my question: How do we find time for all these traditions? How do we make new ones while respecting the ones we hold close to our heart? How do we blend traditions with our in-laws? When do you throw you hands in the air and go on vacation for the holidays instead?

I tried suggesting that we make it a destination Christmas this year. After some thought and discussion Nana informed us that we won’t be vacationing for Christmas this year. Or as long as she’s alive. Clearly she values the traditions and I respect that.I had to laugh at the fact that Nana vetoed not only this Christmas but every foreseeable Christmas after that.

I’d like to bring back Santa so if anyone has a Santa suit let me know!

My cousins and I actually have started our own tradition of taking family pictures every Thanksgiving. I was doing them myself with my professional camera but that took a crap on me this year so I’m not sure what we’ll do. I don’t really want to pay for professional pictures but am considering it as gift to all of us.

Other than that I don’t even know where to start! I have this constant tug of war going on in my head. Its like tiny bad mom saying “ugh who has time for that? Aren’t the holidays stressful enough?” then a tiny Martha Stewart slaps her across the face with a homemade, one of a kind stocking and says “because traditions are wonderful and it gives us something to look forward to and pass down to our kids so they can remember us when we are gone”.

I’m afraid tiny Martha wins. I want that. I want Rylan to grow up with the same happy memories I had. I want her to remember things from Nana and Granny. It’s special that she’s gotten so much time with her Great Grandparents so why wouldn’t we want to emphasize those traditions?

So its my goal to prioritize the traditions we have already and along the way make new ones. Of course I’ll have to put my own spin on things so maybe instead of having new pajamas we all have onesies and look ridiculous together. Maybe make a signature cocktail to have at Christmas dinner? I’ll keep thinking.

We used to go in Nanas room and re-wrap gifts we had given her in years past because she never even opened them. It took her longer than she cares to admit to catch on to that!

I’m just blessed I have the family that I do and the in-laws that I do. Everyone has a sense of humor and gets along and truly loves life. And fun. And cocktails. Rylan is pretty lucky too.

I’m aware I didn’t solve any of the my questions so if anyone has suggestions let me know!

 

Fall of Giants 

Book club!!!!! 

I just recently started this one. I’ve had it on my nightstand For literally a year. It was given to me by a friend and I have not been able to start it. 

For some reason last week I picked it up and haven’t been able to put it down! 

Again I’m not a historical fiction book lover but after The Nightingale this one is equally as entertaining. 

It’s very Downton Abbey. If you liked that book this is a good read. At least so far. I’m only 100 pages in but it’s made me take a break from watching The Real Housewives and that’s always a good thing! 

I’ll post my review under the book club tab when I’m finished but maybe give me a month cause this thing is MASSIVE. Also it’s a trilogy so we’ll see after this one if it deserves the other two. 

Are You Ready For Some Football?!?!

ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE!!!!!!  Football season is here ladies and gentlemen!!!!

If you aren’t a football fan its cool, we can still be friends. Here’s why. Football season is so much more than amazing chances to be competitive and feel truly apart of a group. Which is one of the things I love about. I love rooting for the same team, trash talking, getting dressed up, and cheering like we have any effect on the outcome whatsoever.

But more than that I like getting people together to watch the games. Unless it’s a really big game because all the men around me think I talk to much. But otherwise its fun to get groups together to watch the games and talk. Make good appetizers and have a few drinks.

Really any excuse to have a party or get people together is good with me. Part of the glory of having a tiny house is that we don’t have a lot of room to entertain. Our living room is good for football if all you want to do is sit and watch the game. So bright side we usually go to other peoples house for the games.

For a long time it was my brother-in-laws house. It was a blast. Then we had Rylan and while we could still go over there and tried a few times, it didn’t work out with an infant. She would cry when everyone would scream and yell. Which was a lot. As she got older I worried about the F bombs that would fly around game time.

I’m over that now. She knows not to talk like that and will soon understand that football means she gets to hang out with her friends and eat good food and have fun. Or relax at home if that’s what we are doing.

So yes we love football in our house and everything that comes with it.

But wait there’s more!

Football season is also the season of fall and winter! I’m talking orange and brown leaves, cooler weather, sweaters, RAIN, Halloween, and the best of all… Thanksgiving.

So extremely grateful for thanksgiving. It’s like Christmas without the pressure of gift giving! Not to toot my own horn but my family has the best thanksgiving set up in the history of combined families. Every year my grandma does it at her house the Sunday before Thanksgiving so we all get to spend the day with the other side of the family and she is guaranteed to have all the kids, grand kids and great grand kid there with her. Beep beep beep beep!

Any way all of this is what football season means to me.

Not to mention my new introduction to fantasy football! What?!?! Yup that’s what I said. I’m in a fantasy football league with some girlfriends. A little friendly competition and yet another incentive to watch the games is right up my alley. I couldn’t have said yes fast enough.

Speaking of being competitive… Yes I am. Not with everything but with a lot of things yes. Mostly with things outside my control like fantasy football. I’m nothing compared to my husband and his friends. They take competition and superstition to a whole new level!

No joke. One year I invited my friend who I hadn’t seen in years over to hang out with me while we watched a playoff game. The Niners lost and they will not allow her to come over any more. On top of that I’m not allowed to bring anyone new to the house during important games. NO joke! It’s literally talked about at least a few times a year. Football and Baseball!

So while Sundays are a day of rest and family… in our house that means family, football, and food. Trying to keep it healthy this year so swimsuit season next year doesn’t suck!

Let the games begin!

 

 

Literal Labor Day


Yesterday was my birthday!!! September 4th!

Which means my mom was LITERALLY in labor ON labor day! I’ve always thought that was hilarious.

I love my mom. She’s a crack up and anyone who’s ever met her knows she has the biggest heart in the world. She means well in everything she does and truly cares about people.

In fact we always joke that she adopts homeless people. Not literally. Although we own a gas station and its goes in phases of being bum central. One lived in his trailer behind the store the entire time I was in high school. One lived in the bathroom for at least a month before my mom asked him to leave.

My favorite used to come and just hang out to talk to her. He was nuts. Exactly what you picture when you think of a homeless man. Finger-less gloves, talks to himself, has a dog. The only thing missing was the stick with the bag hanging from the end. I’m pretty sure I remember actual cartoon smelly squiggles coming off him.

Tangent number 1 complete.

My mom is sweet that was the point of that. She also used to joke that for my birthday she should get a present because it was, after all, her labor day.

I used to make fun of her for this. “Okay mom. It’s your world we just live in it” as I rolled my eyes. Or I’d sigh and say “it really is all about you isn’t it”. What a bratty teenager I was.

Now after being in labor for 36 hours myself I fully understand what she meant. Labor sucks no matter if it was a C-section or you pushed that giant thing out yourself. So funny to me that we always ooh and ahh over how tiny babies are. When your the mom who just pushed it out that thing is massive!

So it took 30 years but I finally understand what my mom meant. So when its your birthday. Don’t forget about what that day means to your mother. Because while we are all thankful for that day you were born… it was a rough one for your mom.

I used to think my birthday was amazing because it was labor day weekend and all the parties and fireworks were all for me. Wow sometimes I open my mouth or write something down and my mother comes out. This is the apple barely even falling from the tree!

So yes the parties were for me and there was always something to do.

Now at 32 there is nothing to do!

I’m sure there are still parties and lakes to go on but at this point in my life with a toddler I don’t wanna be around people.

I wanna go to the lake. Labor day weekend? Way too crowded. 

I wanna go out to eat. Forget it everywhere is packed.

I wanna go out-of-town and do something. So we can drive in traffic and take 3 hours to get anywhere decent where again there will be too many people? Nope.

My birthday this year was fantastic! I got to relax at home with my family and see my friends at different times throughout the weekend and even got to make some headway on the week. Yes, planning and cleaning made me happy on my birthday. I know I”m not alone in this.

Times have changed and I’m not the person I was at 21. Or even 30. I was so freaking fun back then!!! I’m still working on myself because we should never stop doing that. But this birthday has given me a great chance to stop and look and check in with my life. I love it!

I could list all the things going right in life but I won’t because… well barf. Who really cares. The point is I’m so grateful for everything I have and most importantly the people I have in my life. I’m surrounded by amazing people. A few weird ones in there but who doesn’t have a few crazy friends? Keeps me on my toes! Or maybe I’m the crazy friend?

Either way crazy or not I hope everyone had a great Labor Day and enjoys their birthday as much as I did. Don’t worry my birthday isn’t really over… I get the whole month of September. It’s just getting started.

I Want It All

All through elementary school I played all the sports. I loved softball, volleyball was fun because I didn’t suck, basketball was total torture but I played because my friends did and parents wouldn’t let me quit.

On one hand, I get why you don’t quit. On the other hand I was so terrible and miniature that there were literally games when EVERY SINGLE PLAYER made a basket except me. It was fine. It clearly wasn’t my sport. Actually I’m not sure I ever made a basket in a game… probably because I would foul out so fast they had to bench me. Clever little 7th grader I was.

Anyway when we started high school it was time to make a choice on what you wanted to participate in. It was not longer everyone plays everything. I tried softball but as I got older I didn’t have the competitive edge required to do well. Or the vision… have I mentioned I’m close to blind? But I had it all when it came to cheerleading and dance!

Yup I was a cheerleader. I’ve gone through phases after high school where it wasn’t “cool” and I laughed along with people. “I know you wouldn’t expect it from me right?” But guess what? I was the type. I am the type. I’m proud I was a cheerleader and a dancer because I was an athlete. Don’t even try to argue you will lose.

That desire to participate and do things doesn’t go away when you are an adult. The sports just change and instead of everyone getting a trophy (please stop that by the way) loser gets to buy the next round of drinks and winners get bragging rights. See your “everyone wins” thing goes away as an adult anyway. Might as well get used to it.

Before having Rylan I enjoyed all kinds of weird things. I love to golf. Like truly enjoy it, not just because my husband plays. I actually started playing with my grandpa before I even started dating my husband.

I liked to crochet. Okay I know that is NOT a sport I’m just throwing hobbies out there. I’m an avid reader. No genre is off-limits. Well that’s not entirely true but I’ll give anything a chance.

I enjoyed hiking with my mom and going for runs. Taking work out classes and being active.

Before kids I had time for all of these things and got 8 hours of sleep. That was almost 3 years ago!

Since having Rylan I have golfed one season of women’s league, read only a handful of books, and have crocheted nothing. But I have started this blog and that’s something! I’ve also kept my kid alive and mostly healthy. Calling it a win.

The whole point of this is that I want to do things again. Rylan is almost 3 and I’m finding that with Pat putting her to sleep at least every other night I have time again. What?!?!?! No way!

At first I was panicking… what to do with an extra hour or two at night? Aside from dishes?

Once the dishes are done and things are cleaned up here’s what I’ve been doing…. Whatever the crap I feel like doing! Life changing. Every night is different. I can read for a little bit, I can do some abs, I can crochet like an 80-year-old woman if I want to. Heck I can even sit outside and listen to the world move and guess what? Its amazing.

I’m enjoying hobbies again and it feels great. Once again for those of you who still think I should have more than one kid. NO. I’m enjoying my daughter growing and loving every phase at every time and now I’m even enjoying myself.

The Hypnotist Love Story

3rd book club!!!!

Confession: I’m listening to this one on audio book.

I’ve been hard core into crocheting and haven’t had time to read. Plus the stack of books on my night stand is overwhelming at the moment. Not to mention serving as an excellent cell phone holder over night. Can’t mess with that flow!

So my friend Sam and I are listening to this audio book. I hope you’ll join us in reading/listening and then chatting after. I can listen and crochet so I feel like I’m nailing this productivity thing.

I’m about halfway through and totally intrigued. Also starting to get to the point where I’m making predictions! Love that point in any story where you think you know but really you probably don’t!