New Book Club Book

Previously I posted the two books I was reading and suggested that you read either one. Well after reading The Nightingale I INSIST you read that one! Then when you’re done read The Other Einstein by Marie Benedict. 

I’m half way through and am really enjoying it. It’s been a long time since I had back to back good reads like this and thank The Girls Next Door Podcast for this one. 

I look forward to writing about it after and hearing your views. If you read The Nightingale I’d love to hear your thoughts! I’m still recovering from it to be honest. 

Sweaters in 110 Degrees

I hadn’t planned on writing anything today but the most amazing thing happened to me!

I went into Ross and guess what was there?!?! SWEATERS!!!!!

Oh yes that makes me incredibly happy. Like celebrate with champagne and dancing happy.

I love sweaters. Cold weather clothing is by far my favorite style. Even when I was skinny it was my favorite. Which is saying a lot because most skinny people like to live in bikinis. Not me. Even way back then I used to love covering up.

Of course it has to be cute cover up clothing. I don’t love baggy sweatshirts. Oh wait, yes I do! Again they have to be cute. But if I had to pick a uniform it would be sweatshirt and shorts.

Which brings me to my favorite weather. As a Pluviophile I love the rain but I also find joy and peace when its overcast and right around mid 60’s. Like cold enough to put a sweatshirt on but still rock some cute shorts.

Not the ass cheeks hanging out shorts that are going around now. I don’t care how hot you are or how amazing your ass is, I don’t need to see it in the grocery store. I give you a high five for working hard to get that has but I’m pretty sure Citizens, True Religion, or even Ivanka Trump has worked extremely hard to make ass covering shorts that will look cute without making me cringe.

Sorry that was an inevitable tangent.

Shorts and a sweater weather is the dream weather, and wardrobe. So while this trip to Ross made me feel incredibly happy for about 20 minutes it also was depressing.

It’s August. It’s the start of August and hotter than hades in this tiny little town we call home. It will be like this for a while and while I’m enjoying this summer way more than any other I still am not the biggest fan.

So continuing the quest to enjoy the make-up melting temperatures with more lake trips, a romantic golf trip up to Sequoia Woods with my hubby, pool parties, and sugar-free popsicle I’ll also be getting excited that even though it’s not here yet those sweaters are starting to hit the stores and that means it’s coming. Not as fast as I’d like…. but its coming.

Fear of Failing 

Do you believe in signs? Like from the universe? Signs from God? Something pushing you to something you didn’t think was in your plan?

That might be a little dramatic interpretation of what was happening for me but I like to think if you listen to the universe it will guide you the right way.

I LOVE podcasts! I want to start my own. I’m just working up to it and in the process. In the mean time I love listening to other ones. I have an extremely wide range of ones I listen to from mom podcasts to finance to self encouragement and happiness motivators. I even have some kid ones and story telling ones.

Yesterday I did a lot of driving so I was able to listen to Lori Harder interview Dave Asprey and it was amazing. He discussed his coffee and books and motivated me to want to try it all! He’s truly amazing and I can’t wait to get it all ordered. As soon as I budget for it. So probably next month!

My first sign of the day came from Dave saying that we have to give up our fear of failing. It’s okay to fail it doesn’t make us bad people it. I’ve heard  it before that failing is not the end. That it’s a learning experience and a stepping stone but something about the way he put it was super motivating.

It was freeing to think that people will support you no matter what. Most of them anyway. Like for me with this blog. I have no idea how it will come along or if I’ll eventually get my podcast. I know that I will work hard for it and keep pushing along. Even if no one reads this I’ll still write because its fun for me. So failing isn’t a fear because I’ll be okay either way. Success is preferred but I will enjoy the ride either way.  So thank you Dave Asprey!

The second sign pushing me towards letting go of fear was from one of my favorite authors and podcast Melanie Dale . In that link she interviews Kari Sowers who also comes up with the same advise. Get rid of that fear of failure.

TWICE in one day that was preached to me and I’m extremely grateful. That’s the purpose of these podcast and the message was received loud and clear!

It was exactly what I needed and what I hope to pass on to anyone who reads this!

I’m going full force with my budget planning and continuing hard-core on the debt snowball. For some reason that was a fear in my head. That we would put in all this hard work on becoming debt free only for something to happen. But losing the fear of failing is freeing in that sense too. Who cares if we have a set back! So what if it takes longer to pay everything off! As long as I don’t stop and don’t let fear hold me back I can see the future of financial freedom!

On my minimalism quest, one day at a time and I can’t fail. Yes my minimalism has gone from a journey to a quest! But no fear in this quest! Cleaning things out and getting rid of things on purpose! Not being scared of failure. If I fail and I’m not a true minimalist by a certain date that I haven’t even set yet… its okay. I’ll survive with plenty of time to keep getting rid of things.

All of this isn’t to say that we should just be lazy and cavalier about pursuing our dreams and goals. But more that we should do it with even more enthusiasm and excitement because if we fail, guess what? It wont kill us!  Strangely enough that’s also become my parenting style of an almost 3-year-old… but did you die? Another post in itself.

Another thing Kari Sowers said that hit hard was about making sure you are paying attention to the things that are priorities to YOU. Not to someone else, or what you think should be a priority to you, but what really matters to you. If having a clean house is important make it a priority. If spending time with your family is more important than do that.

I don’t have Facebook. It’s not a priority to me. I find ways to talk to the people I care about. Whether that’s instagram or Voxer or leaving my sister-in-law super annoying voice memos over text messaging. Her voicemail is always full so I force my voice on her anyway I can. (Just wait till I have my own podcast *evil laugh*)

Also losing that fear of failing means losing the fear of what other people think. In a big way! Because true friends and good people will not look at you different if you fail. They will help you get back up. They will encourage you to keep going and often times its them who wont let you fail in the first place.

Anyone who would judge your or think differently of you for failing doesn’t belong with you anyway and is probably holding you back. In which case failing and getting rid of them is actually winning and growing! So high-five, head up, moving on!

Leaving you today with my favorite quote from Jennifer Lawrence “Not everyone likes me… but not everyone matters”. Well said celebrity spirit friend. Well said.

 

 

 

 

 

Minimalism and Budgeting

Minimalism and budgeting.

Wow never in  a million years would I have thought those would be my two favorite words! It seems they go hand in hand right? If you don’t have a lot of stuff that means you aren’t buying crap and wasting money!

At least that’s how it will be. I feel like I’m spending money in order to have organization for less stuff! Yup leave it to me to make simple things a royal pain in the ass!

So, my journey to minimal living is going well… we got the new kitchen table with the storage underneath and everything is organized in the kitchen and fridge. Yay me! I ALMOST feel like I have the whole kitchen done. Now its just the daily chore of keeping the counters clean and sink empty. I feel like it should be easier when there’s only 3 of us but whatever.

Working on our bedroom next. Our living room is fairly small and empty so I feel like that just needs to be kept clean. Easier said than done right? Isn’t that the worlds mantra? Anyway back on track. Bedroom is coming along. We no longer have crap accumulated at the end of the bed and our shoes are organized in the stand which means we aren’t tripping over them and I’m not throwing them.

Yes I’m a shoe thrower! Especially when I tripped over one that wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. Hence the journey we are on.

Our other big adventure is budgeting!!! *happy dance* Seriously I never knew how happy having a budget could make me!

I have my friend Sarah to thank for this new obsession. She turned me to Dave Ramsey ! For those of you who don’t know him its worth looking at. For me I love that there are baby steps! Anything with baby steps is right up my alley! I’m all about it.

His first baby step is to save $1,000 emergency fund. Then start paying off all debt. Why you ask? Because if you don’t have payments guess what you have?!?! MONEY!!!

Mind Blown!

There’s more to it than that and he has a whole debt snowball thing going so I would check out his website and the whole process. I listen to his podcast and am obsessed. The debt free scream is now on the bucket list!

We started with a budget. Seems simple right?!?! But we weren’t doing it before! Totally insanity.  Now I’m a bit retarded so I can not do a whole monthly budget. My husband and I get paid on alternate weeks so we have a paycheck coming in every week. That’s how I do it. I budget down to every dollar for each week looking at what bills we have to pay that week and looking ahead to see whats coming.

Yes yes yes I know that makes up my monthly budget. Still can’t just write down the monthly one! It’s a mental block I have. But doing it by the week for the month works for me and guess what? I don’t even care. If it’s not broke, don’t worry about it!

Its taken a few months to get everything down and we still have months where we back slide. It happens, its called life. That being said I have never felt more in control of our money and most importantly our future.

After being on a budget when we do back slide its soooo much easier to get back on track. It’s no longer the end of the world and full-blown panic mode.

Adulting sucks. There’s no point in sugar-coating it.

Paying bills, keeping a clean house, getting a hostess gift, it’s all just exhausting and quite frankly way too much to think about. So much like trying to like the summer time, this is me, trying to enjoy being an adult! Finding ways to make cleaning fun like listening to my podcast while I do dishes. Watching the housewives while folding laundry.

I’m interested… what makes cleaning house more exciting for you people? How do you get through it?

 

 

Resistance to Mom Friends

I love my friends. I’ve talked before about my friendship landscape and how it’s ever changing with the peaks and seasons of life but one thing that stays consistent is my love for my friends. That being said it’s a hard transition when you start growing up and changing and people start popping out babies. I’ll be honest my friend and I were concerned when the responsible one got pregnant. Who was going to take care of us? Make sure we got home okay? Didn’t go home with strangers? Yes sometimes we needed to be reminded of that! Who was going to be our voice of reason and slap us when we were being ridiculous? Who was going to drive us to get new clothes? Who was going to drive us everywhere? We needed some serious taking care of and she was the best at it. We were incredibly happy for her but selfishly concerned.

She’s super-mom/wife/friend so of course she managed all of her capes just fine. WAY better than I did when I had Rylan.

I was worried when I got pregnant about my changing friendships. I had friends like Super mom who made it look so easy so I knew it was possible but then you have other people (mostly strangers or distant acquaintances) who would make comments like “oh yay join the mom club”, “How great you get to be in the mom groups”, “get as much time with your friends cause then you have to make new mom friends”.  It’s not that I’m antisocial but I’ll be honest I dislike anything that makes me feel limited to one group. I instantly get and attitude of “nope I’m not going”. It’s the same attitude that keeps me away from any of the multilevel marketing groups. I don’t like feeling associated to only one thing. I feel claustrophobic. I feel tied down. I feel like I’m a cow being herded into a trap.

All my friends were super supportive when I got pregnant. It was a shock to everyone because I had always said I didn’t want kids. Sorry Rylan mommy loves you! When she actually came into the world I started to get a sense of the mom group thing. It’s not like the cow herd feeling, its more like a support system of people who have been there. I call super mom all the freaking time. I also had a few other mom friends I’d call, my sister-in-law included. We call her Dr. Jen because that’s how we treated her. Like our own personal on call doctor.

Our other friend is a doctor and I swear the only conversations Pat has with her is when Rylan’s sick. Even now at almost 3. We should really take her out to dinner to say thank you!

Rylan was about 6 months old and I took her to the pool with a group of friends who had kids too. Some around the same age but most were older. We sat them up to take a picture and I was way more confident in Rylans ability to sit up than I should have been because right before we took the picture she tipped over. Smacked her head right on the concrete.

Panic is an understatement. She cried, I cried harder. She was fine after a few minutes and it was the mom friends more than the doctor who made me feel safe that day. I wanted to rush to the emergency room. These girls did the best job of making me feel justified if I took her in but also reassured me that I didn’t have to and she would be fine. They also all shared similar stories to make me feel like I wasn’t alone.

Funny how much it makes you feel better to hear that your friends screwed up too. I know its cause we feel like we aren’t alone but still makes me laugh.

Friend: My kid fell off the couch at that age.

Me: Oh thank goodness.

Not an easy thing to do… making a new panicked mom feel like whatever decision she makes is the right one.  But they did. That’s the power of mom friends.

We didn’t go to the ER. But I did pull over about 12 times on the way home to make sure she was awake and alive. Then woke her up a million times throughout the night. Yes she slept with me that night. Judge away I don’t even care!

Mom friends are there to share stories with. and make you feel better about parenting.  It’s helpful to hear that your fear is also something other people worry about. It feels good to be validated that a mom friend would do the same thing.

Sometimes you just need someone to say its okay to hate your dogs while you kids are young. You need that one friend who can high five you when you call your kid an ass under your breath. The friend who calls from the closet because they are hiding from their kids and its perfect timing because you are head to the grocery store just for some quiet time. Those are the mom friends that count.

I read the book  Women Are Scary  It’s about making new mom friends and its hilarious. I recommend it to all new moms for sure. Sometimes you need something like that because lets face it, women are scary!

So while I was hesitant and leery of it, I’m happy that I have my mom friends. I’m also happy that I haven’t lost my other friends. It’s the beauty of the friendship landscape and its ever-changing ways. I’m also happy and grateful for all my mom friends and their many different parenting ways. One of my favorite things about the mom friends is the lack of judgment. Everyone is all just supporting each other and its fun to watch the different ways people do things. It makes us all better parents and better people

 

 

F You Migraine

Migraines are the worst! For those of you who have never had one it feels like there is a part of your brain that is tied in a knot and rapidly swelling and there’s nothing you can do about it. For me its right on my forehead usually over one eye making me feel like I’m having a stroke. Add to the razor-sharp pain and pressure the fact that light makes you feel like you got punched the face by Mike Tyson and any sound feels like you got hit with a bat by Hunter Pence.

I started getting migraines when I was in 7th grade. First one started when I was in class and suddenly couldn’t everything. I’m close to blind anyway so this would normally not be a shock but it was different. if you look straight ahead it was like there was a quarter of the picture missing and when would look somewhere else a new section would disappear. Terrifying for a 7th grader. I asked to lay down. Then the sharp pressure pain started. I was taken to the emergency room and given a CT scan. After confirmation of a migraine I was given a shot.  I can’t remember anything after that!

So why wouldn’t you just go to the ER for a shot when you a get a migraine? Well for starters you can’t drive yourself. I always love it when people are out and about functioning in daylight and say “oh sorry I have a migraine”. No a-hole you don’t. Grocery shopping, socializing, driving, functioning in light of any kind, adulting is all out of the question when you are in the middle of a migraine. Night clubs…. puh-lease. It’s not a migraine its a headache. Shut up.

It could be the start of one… that I get. Sometimes you feel them coming on while you are out adulting and being a human. But you better take something asap and get the hell home!

Anyway I also don’t go to the ER for them because there’s medication you can take for them. One I was on started to lose its effectiveness. The only other one that’s ever worked for me also scares the crap out of me. I took it on our way home from a BBQ one summer when I started to get one. Drove home, woke up 8 hours later changed in bed with no memory of driving home. No thanks. What else ya got?

Excedrine migraine and really any over the counter migraine med does generally work…. IF you take it at the very first sign of even a headache. I can’t take excedrine anymore but Alive works fairly well for me if I take it early enough. Again I have to take basically predict the future and take it if I feel like I MIGHT be getting a headache.

Last night I didn’t take it early enough. I didn’t think we had any for starters so I waited it out and put Peppermint oil on my head and neck like your supposed to with essential oils. Which actually worked for the just headache. But an hour later when it turned into a full migraine the oil can suck it because it didn’t even touch it. I take that back… it distracted me from the migraine pain because it kind of burns like a mother!

At midnight I woke my sleeping husband, who has to wake up at 4 am for work. All I had to say was “babe, migraine” and he was out of bed going to his truck looking for medication. God love him! He gave me 2 Alieve (the recommended amount) and was scratching my back the way my mom used to when I was little and would get them. The only kind of touch I can stand when in that much pain. I’m sure it only took 30 min but it felt like 2 hours.

During the time it took the meds to kick in here’s what happened and when through my head, some of which I’m sure I asked Pat out loud. I wanted more meds, he said no. I prayed a lot. I considered taking knife to my forehead because I truly felt that it would relieve the pressure and feel better. I dry heaved because I felt like I was going to throw up. I was sweating hot. I was freezing. I wanted a cold wet towel on my back. I wanted the blankets on top of it. I considered trying to push my face in the pillow so hard I couldn’t breathe, but that felt like a lot of work. Normally I’m curled up around the toilet with no clothes cause its cold and feels good and I can throw up there. It’s too freaking hot for that. I thought about going outside naked but I wouldn’t last in jail.

They are truly the worst. I had flash backs of being in labor. Of course it’s not the same but I’ve done both and can fairly compare. At least when you are in labor it comes in waves. You get at least a minute recovery to breathe. Migraines are hours on end with no release. No mercy.

They the leave you feeling hung over the next day without the fun. Body feels like you ran a marathon only you didn’t get the medal or bragging rights.

At least 8 times last night the F You Thunder song from the movie Ted came in my head. only in my version it was F You Migraine. Couldn’t remember the whole song but the few parts I could brought me a little joy while in hell.

Book club!!!

Okay I’m doing it! Well kind of. I’ve always wanted to have an amazing book club until I realize I have to get people to read the same books and then get together at a time when we’ve all read this same book and can actually meet up. A lot of work and super hard to do. Although it’s a great excuse to get my best friends together we normally start with “okay did you like the book?” “yeah it was pretty good” ” I thought so too. Wanna go to Pinecrest Tuesday?” End of book club.

Having this outlet and pre-podcast I figure I can do a form of book club right here!!!!

So I’m giving out 2 book suggestions that I’m reading right now. Yes I’m reading two books at once. Not because I’m an over achiever but because I have one paperback book I can’t put down, and one on my kindle so I can read at night while the tiny one falls asleep at the same time as my arm.

So Book choice 1: The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah Click here to order

This book was given to me by Pats Aunt and I’m so happy she did. I haven’t been able to put it down.

Book Choice 2: The Other Einstein by Marie Benedict Click here to order

This one is the book club book for my favorite podcast. So I’m kind of hijacking their book club. But not really because you should listen to them they are funny and sweet and I feel like we’d be friend if I lived in Phoenix. I give them the Brittany Stamp Of Approval. (high-five How I Met Your Mother Fans!!!!)

So They will be airing their podcast book club for The Other Einstein August 16th available on iTunes.  I’m super excited about this book and can’t wait to listen to that episode! Also if anyone’s interested in meeting up for book club about this one or The Nightingale let me know!