F You Migraine

Migraines are the worst! For those of you who have never had one it feels like there is a part of your brain that is tied in a knot and rapidly swelling and there’s nothing you can do about it. For me its right on my forehead usually over one eye making me feel like I’m having a stroke. Add to the razor-sharp pain and pressure the fact that light makes you feel like you got punched the face by Mike Tyson and any sound feels like you got hit with a bat by Hunter Pence.

I started getting migraines when I was in 7th grade. First one started when I was in class and suddenly couldn’t everything. I’m close to blind anyway so this would normally not be a shock but it was different. if you look straight ahead it was like there was a quarter of the picture missing and when would look somewhere else a new section would disappear. Terrifying for a 7th grader. I asked to lay down. Then the sharp pressure pain started. I was taken to the emergency room and given a CT scan. After confirmation of a migraine I was given a shot.  I can’t remember anything after that!

So why wouldn’t you just go to the ER for a shot when you a get a migraine? Well for starters you can’t drive yourself. I always love it when people are out and about functioning in daylight and say “oh sorry I have a migraine”. No a-hole you don’t. Grocery shopping, socializing, driving, functioning in light of any kind, adulting is all out of the question when you are in the middle of a migraine. Night clubs…. puh-lease. It’s not a migraine its a headache. Shut up.

It could be the start of one… that I get. Sometimes you feel them coming on while you are out adulting and being a human. But you better take something asap and get the hell home!

Anyway I also don’t go to the ER for them because there’s medication you can take for them. One I was on started to lose its effectiveness. The only other one that’s ever worked for me also scares the crap out of me. I took it on our way home from a BBQ one summer when I started to get one. Drove home, woke up 8 hours later changed in bed with no memory of driving home. No thanks. What else ya got?

Excedrine migraine and really any over the counter migraine med does generally work…. IF you take it at the very first sign of even a headache. I can’t take excedrine anymore but Alive works fairly well for me if I take it early enough. Again I have to take basically predict the future and take it if I feel like I MIGHT be getting a headache.

Last night I didn’t take it early enough. I didn’t think we had any for starters so I waited it out and put Peppermint oil on my head and neck like your supposed to with essential oils. Which actually worked for the just headache. But an hour later when it turned into a full migraine the oil can suck it because it didn’t even touch it. I take that back… it distracted me from the migraine pain because it kind of burns like a mother!

At midnight I woke my sleeping husband, who has to wake up at 4 am for work. All I had to say was “babe, migraine” and he was out of bed going to his truck looking for medication. God love him! He gave me 2 Alieve (the recommended amount) and was scratching my back the way my mom used to when I was little and would get them. The only kind of touch I can stand when in that much pain. I’m sure it only took 30 min but it felt like 2 hours.

During the time it took the meds to kick in here’s what happened and when through my head, some of which I’m sure I asked Pat out loud. I wanted more meds, he said no. I prayed a lot. I considered taking knife to my forehead because I truly felt that it would relieve the pressure and feel better. I dry heaved because I felt like I was going to throw up. I was sweating hot. I was freezing. I wanted a cold wet towel on my back. I wanted the blankets on top of it. I considered trying to push my face in the pillow so hard I couldn’t breathe, but that felt like a lot of work. Normally I’m curled up around the toilet with no clothes cause its cold and feels good and I can throw up there. It’s too freaking hot for that. I thought about going outside naked but I wouldn’t last in jail.

They are truly the worst. I had flash backs of being in labor. Of course it’s not the same but I’ve done both and can fairly compare. At least when you are in labor it comes in waves. You get at least a minute recovery to breathe. Migraines are hours on end with no release. No mercy.

They the leave you feeling hung over the next day without the fun. Body feels like you ran a marathon only you didn’t get the medal or bragging rights.

At least 8 times last night the F You Thunder song from the movie Ted came in my head. only in my version it was F You Migraine. Couldn’t remember the whole song but the few parts I could brought me a little joy while in hell.

The Angry Receptionist

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I used to be a people person. People have ruined that for me.

In all honestly  I do consider myself a very kind person, or at least I try to be. That being said, I have worked with people for the last 10 years. Yup. 10 years of being a human punching bag. The dumping ground for other people’s blame. The scapegoat to their lack of planning. On the receiving end of venting sessions that have nothing to do with me. The highly underpaid therapist. The shoulder to cry on. I swear I’m not bitter.

I work in the medical field and completely understand that anything to do with doctors and illness is scary. I’m not unsympathetic to that fact. However, it does not give someone the excuse to be a total dick. ESPECIALLY when you are needing something from the receptionist. Listen very carefully….. you will get much further if you are nice. What’s the saying? You get more bee’s with honey than vinegar? Its true.

Another little tip for you. Your lack of planning does not make it an emergency. Let that sink in for a second. Yes, it sucks you forgot and you need it tomorrow but your apt isn’t till the end of the year. Guess what? There’s nothing I can do. I can not reschedule other people who have been waiting 6 months because you forgot. Flip that around and imagine you’ve been waiting 6 months and I had to reschedule you out another few months. Imagine its due to someone not keeping track of things and it could have been prevented had they thought ahead. You’d be mad right? So please don’t get mad at the receptionist for not being a magician.

Another thing the receptionist can’t do… make a doctor magically appear to work on a day that isn’t their day. They are people too (shocking I know). They get vacation time and sick time just like the rest of us. You think you’re mad they had to reschedule because their sick? Imagine the receptionist who had to call 27 people just as mad and rude as you were. We don’t like it. It’s not fun to have to reschedule sick people. Especially when we have nowhere to put them.

Guess what else is NOT in our control? How many patients we can fit in the schedule. We only have so many spots open for people because the doctors can only see so many people in a day. They can’t be in two places at once. While you may view it as a “quick check”, on our end to make sure everything is done right, we have to do everything for a normal check. Which means it’s not quick. Again you would be mad if your apt was late due to someone getting added in last-minute when you’ve been waiting for your apt.

Something we’ve learned working as a receptionist: Common sense is not very common. Its true common sense goes out the window when you are scared. But here are things that are never-changing and should be remembered. If it’s an emergency there is a room for that. Your doctor’s office is not equipped for emergencies. Yes yes yes I know you’ve had a bad experience at the hospital and would rather die than go back there. Well that is your other option. If it comes down to it and its a real emergency you’d go to the emergency room. If it’s not a real emergency it can wait until we have an apt to see the doctor. Lucky for some there are areas where they have “urgent” cares. Not quite an emergency but needs to be treated that day. Go there. They can help you. They are also medical professionals!

We know you are scared. We know you have questions, that you want answers to whatever is ailing you. We hear it every day and you know what else we hear every day? The answers to the same questions over and over again. Kind of like in school when you are learning something so you go over the same information over and over again. So forgive me for being a little annoyed when the conversation goes like this:

Patient: is there a nurse or doctor I can talk to?

Receptionist: They are currently with a patient at the moment is there something I can help you with?

P: you probably wouldn’t know you’re just the receptionist. Can you take a message?

R: of course. While we are on the phone why don’t we make a follow up? Yes I can get you scheduled for 2020.

Never ever have this conversation with us. Its truly offensive. Unless you are a doctor or Nobel Peace prize winner you are also just something. After this conversation you are just a pain the ass. Yes we are a receptionist but that is an extremely hard and trying job. We are exhausted at the end of a the day and while we are here with the patients best interest at heart its super hard to want the best for an ass hole.

The link below was the inspiration for getting things off my chest. He’s way more brutally honest than I could be for fear of losing my job.

My Idol The Angry Pharmacist

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To Prep or Minimalize?

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That is the question!

I’m not a prepper myself but my coworker Terri is. Its no shock that this debate comes up a lot. I’m trying to be a minimalist, she’s a prepper…. we have lots to talk about.  I’m ultra fascinated by prepping. I have a lot of weird things I get fixated on so just add this to the list. I love the idea of being prepared and after talking to her I am happy that we live close enough to each other that I can crash her house if crap really hits the fan (she hasn’t invited me but I can assure you that’s where we are going).

This is not a new theory. People have been starting to prepare for the worst for sometime now. I’m pretty sure there was a reality show of people who built bunkers for preppers. If not I watch too much reality TV and have imagined it.  You could spend an whole workday on Pinterest getting prepper ideas and tips (not that I have… not the whole day anyway).  Watching the news and thinking about the state of the world makes me want to build my own bunker and start prepping for the worst.  When I think of “the worst” I don’t really think hiding… I think Hunger Games. I should really start running more. At least be able to run to Terri’s house.

So while I’m on my minimalist kick Terri and I have had conversations all around getting rid of things and having a nice clean look and living simply. Terri is much cleaner naturally so I’m sure her house looks great all the time. It’s taking some serious work on my part. But that lead us to the question: Can you prep and stay a minimalist?

Sounds like something on Shark Tank.

How do you do it? How do you live with just your essentials and still stay prepared for a disaster? I guess it depends on what you are prepping for.

Currently Terri is prepping with at home survival in mind. So she’s preparing for power outages and injury care, and being able to stay home and be self sufficient. In a case where everyone is fleeing she’ll be fine staying home for long periods of time. With me, uninvited, showing up on her doorstep. I may have to get some weapons or start stashing cash on my own so we have something to contribute so she’ll let us in. An incentive to help keep us alive.

She’s educated me on some prepping things I would have never thought of. For instance she keeps cases of water in the basement (water bottles) that she rotates through so they don’t go bad down there, but that she’s always fully stocked. Forget Shark Tank lets just fund Terri to figure this out for us! The list of things she has stocked includes gallons of water, cases of the water bottles, canned foods, frozen meats (would only be a problem in the summer, winter we get snow), paper towels and toilet paper, bathroom essentials and a box of paper goods so there’s not need to do dishes. Again add me to your head count Terri! She’s also fully prepared with big rubber maid containers full of first aid supplies band aids, suture kits and a whole other list of things I would not know what to do with. May need more than money for her to let me in.

So she’s got a lot of stuff to store and manage which leads us back to the original question; how do you have a minimalist lifestyle and prep at the same time?

Here’s my thoughts.

If you have a basement or garage or a legit bunker, first let us know where you are so we can head that way during the crap storm. Second, you are pretty much set. You have your basics in your living space and your disaster kits in your storage areas. Then you can make your house nice and minimalistic with only the essentials of everyday non apocalyptic living.  I’ll have to check with Terri but I’d think you would want to plan ahead with that too and make sure you have space if you need to stay in those spots or make sure you can easily get your stash to your living space without dying.

If you don’t have the space there are “minimalist” prepping ideas you can make. You can do “mini prep kits” and keep the essentials you’d need in a large trash can or one of the big totes that store ridiculous Christmas decorations (that’s what we have them for, not sure what the real purpose is). Keep all you can in those so you have a mini prep kit you can keep it behind the garage or find somewhere it fits without being distracting. Also keep in mind the smaller the kit the smaller your survival time and its good to have a plan on what do to when that kit starts to run low. Don’t find Terri though I’ve already called dibs on that prepper.

Keep in mind we are mountain people and have no clue what this would look like for people in the city or in apartments. Also we are not experts or anything and are COMPLETELY unqualified to be considered a “source” of any kind. This is for fun for us because we’ve been talking about it lately. If you die in the zombie apocalypse its not our fault. We wish you luck and may the odds be ever in you favor.