Pluviophile Mama

a lover of rain;someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.

December Reading — December 19, 2021

December Reading

December is crazy busy for everyone. Add to it my daughter birthday and I’m the hot mess express. But of course I make time for reading. It relaxes me so I will not apologize! I am posting this before the end of the month because this is all I’ll be able to finish before the New Year.

Here’s what my month looked like.

Goodreads Link

Sparks Like Stars by Nadia Hashimi Wow. Just was not expecting to like this book. Honestly it was a book club read for an online club that tends to be way too liberal for my tastes so I was hesitant to read it. But it was one of those titles I kept seeing and had read the description so many times but something about it finally caught my attention. I decided to listen on audio and liked the narrators voice a lot.

This is a story of a girl from Afghanistan who lost her family when she was around 7 years old when communist stage a coup. She was smuggled out of her home and into the arms of an American diplomat who ends up adopting her and raising her. She ends up a world renowned surgeon and above all else a survivor. I really thought this was going to be a political read and I was going to roll my eyes and give up listening. I didn’t. The story is amazing and I really enjoyed listening to her talk about her home and culture without feeling like it was huge bash on America. It was emotional and while I cried many times it left me feeling hopeful and grateful for my family.

Goodreads Link

Oona Out of Order by Margarita Montimore ~ No. Just no. It started out so good and I’ve had a good run of great reads. This put an end to that killer run.

Oona turns 18 and wakes up in a much older body, in a giant house, where her friend explains to her that her adult life is lived out of order. Every New Year at midnight she will time travel and live that whole year a different age.

The first 1/4 of the book I enjoyed. I liked the time traveling aspect and thought Oona was a fun character (took it too far with a whole year of drugs but you know to each their own). But then it just got weird and the time travel didn’t make sense and I just wanted it to be over. There was a massive twist I did NOT see coming but it wasn’t a good one that makes everything make sense. It was all uncomfortable for me. I didn’t hate it but I wouldn’t recommend it.

Goodreads Link

Everything Happens For A Reason and Other Lies I’ve Loved by Kate Bowler ~ So this started out a little rough for me. I was unsure where it was going in regards to religion. I was born and raised Christian and have a pretty strong belief system. When the book starts out and talks about faith I was worried. But overall I enjoyed this book. I loved reading about her experience and the way she includes her mental responses made me giggle because I feel the same way. My husband has had thyroid cancer 3 times now. This book puts feelings and thoughts we’ve had into words so well I want to send a copy of it to everyone. I’m aware its very different being the wife of someone with cancer and being the patient with cancer. But it all sucks. Cancer sucks.

Goodreads Link

Always In December by Emily Stone ~ I listened to this on audio while at work. Now if you’ve read or listened to that you know that means I ended this book a sobbing mess. Yes at my desk trying to pretend I’m not crying my eyes out. I don’t always read what the book is about before I start it. Sometimes I see what it was recommended with or the “because you read this…” section. I was not prepared.

It started out such a wonderful meet cute and then he ghosted her. Its got strong Serendipity vibes with heartwarming and gut wrenching twists. I laughed, I cried, I’m emotionally exhausted and need a cocktail. Excuse me while I go and watch How I Met Your Mother to recover from this book.

Oh, did I mention that I really liked the book? I did. All things considered I enjoyed it. I’d recommend it to a friend who likes romantic comedy but also is in the need for a good ugly face cry.

Goodreads Link

The Family by Naomi Krupitsky ~ this was a Book Of The Month book that my mother in law picked and I took from her. I wasn’t sure what to expect but give me a story about two best friends and I’m in. Even better when it’s two best friends in an Italian Mafia family. These two have a bond so freaking strong I love it!

It started out so strong and then got a little slow for me. But I really enjoyed reading this. I loved the mafia Family and the loyalty that comes with it. I used about 8 book darts on it and I haven’t done that since I read Atomic Habits. I recommend this to anyone who like character driven stories. I think I need a fantasy action story next.

Goodreads Link

I listened to his on audio and at first I had a really hard time with it. The grandmother and granddaughter relationship was hard to listen to because it made me think of Nana and I. Although this grandma seems to take more advice from her granddaughter than Nana ever did from me. But I’m glad I powered through.

This grandmother and granddaughter switch houses and its charming and adorable and exactly what you’d expect. I love the way both of them are finding themselves at such different ages and truly appreciated listening to a storyline of a 79 year old lady. I feel like I’m an old soul and really did enjoy her perspective. The old people of the town are my favorite and gave me Gilmore Girls/ Stars Hallow vibes. If this were a real place I’d live there. Both Starts Hallow and the town in the book. Great audio to round out my year.

Goodreads Link

This is for the online book club Modern Mrs Darcy. I loved the What Should I Read Next Podcast for so long but I just can’t get behind so many of her guests recommending books because of an authors skin color or just because the author is a woman or of a certain sexuality. So while I don’t listen as much as I used to I do still like to see the book club forum on the website. Lots of good conversations on there too even though I don’t read a lot of the stuff they recommend.

I haven’t finished this one but I think its going to take me a while. Its the kind of book I like to read over coffee and only read in the morning as a motivation of sorts.

CLEARED THE TBR — December 16, 2021

CLEARED THE TBR

Part of my grief this year has manifested itself in the form of hoarding. I talked about it in my tired post but I have made huge progress purging things in the last two weeks. My daughters room is clean! I can do a cartwheel in my living room. Okay maybe not a cartwheel because our house is small but there’s more than just a path.

Not only am I cleaning out my physical space, I’ve unsubscribed to more email lists than I can count. Nothing reminds you of how much junk email you get than the holiday promotion emails! UNSUBSCRIBE. To them, not to me! I don’t write enough to bug you and I’m not selling anything.

I also discovered Story Graph . It connected to my Goodreads account and put all the information in. Books I read, my TBR, and I think my reviews although I didn’t check that cause I’ve started posting them here. People like it better because its not owned by Amazon? I think? I don’t care either way but I like that it gives different descriptions its supposed to give amazing recommendations based on your reviews of other books. That’s why I downloaded it.

When everything connected I realized I had like 200 books on my To Be Read list. That’s absurd. Once I saw this list I started thinking of how I choose my next read and it occurred to me that I choose what I’m going to read based on my mood and what I feel like reading. Not what has been on the list longest, or the newest release, or even what has been recommended to me. I’m not in a real book club that has to read the same books and our Literary Society discusses all books so we don’t have to read anything specific.

So I pulled up the Story Graph app and cleared my TBR list. Deleted the whole thing. I feel so light and fresh and not at all panicky that I don’t have any idea what to read next. Maybe a little panicky. But the fact that Story Graph makes good suggestions and I have the community at https://allbooksmatter.locals.com/ to ask for help if I need it, puts me at ease a little bit. Also the safety net of knowing its till on Goodreads. Baby steps.

So how do you choose what to read next? Any tips or suggestions are appreciated.

Mom Of The Year — December 10, 2021

Mom Of The Year

When I was pregnant I read all the parenting books. Okay, most of the parenting books. Okay two. I read two parenting books. But one I hated and couldn’t finish and the other I became obsessed with. French parenting. Yup I posted about it on here a million years ago. I was in love with it and even my dahling husband thought it was great. Even though he said it all seemed like common sense and kept insisting we weren’t French. We are absolutely French.

Rylan is 7 now. Can I just say that no book can help me now? No book could have prepared me for the chaotic morning of getting homework done, breakfast ready, the “comfort cat” she needs to always have with her, the candy gram fundraiser (side note to whoever planned that shit…you’re a dick), the look of betrayal on my kids face when she realizes we’re going to be late to school or the tears at drop off.

I’ve made huge efforts this year to prep the night before. The book Atomic Habits has been atomically life changing. This week I forgot to prep. Okay I didn’t “forget” but I was exhausted the night before and we went to sleep. This just ruined our morning and left me dropping off my daughter with her in tears, and me driving away also in tears. She’s alway liked things a certain way. Her teacher described her as a “perfectionist who likes everything done her way. But don’t worry she’s shocking still making friends”. So when she realized how scattered we were and that she was going to ruin her perfect attendance record by being late the tears came quick.

Add to this shit storm the fact that there’s a fundraiser for some camp or other where they sent home “candy grams” for $1 you could send a candy gram to your friends. So naturally my perfectionist wants to know what happens if she doesn’t get one. We don’t believe in participation trophies in this house so I was trying to teach a life lesson. “We’ll little duck you might not” to which she responded in sobbing tears. Great one mom. I’ll be accepting my mom of the year award any time. There better be a sash and tiara.

But honestly she might not!! You know there’s going to be some kid who doesn’t get one. But instead of comforting my kid I said the truth and then when she was upset I dug in harder with the excellent life lessons. “It’s going to be okay. If you don’t get one, who cares! The next day it’s your birthday and you’ll bring cupcakes and no one will even remember the candy gram”. I may have slipped in an “everyone can suck it” type of phrase, I’m not sure. I’m on fire this week guys.

The comfort cat. Oh that furry little bastard. Her friends all still bring little toys and animals and stuff so it’s not weird (yet) that she brings her stuffed animal cat to school. But when we forget it it’s the end of the world.

Let me just say that I love my kid more than anything. Nothing is more heart breaking than sending your kid to school sobbing and having to pull her little arms off you and give her a push to go to class. All while trying not to break down in tears myself.

To answer the same question my mom asked. No, I didn’t go get the comfort cat and bring it to school. I had to get to work and as we’ve already established I’m not a good mom. Although I do think I was being a better mom by but not getting. She came home and said she had a great day at school and was totally fine. No permanent harm done. To her. I on the other hand am traumatized and talking to my therapist about mommy issues. Only the mom in my issues….. is me.

You’ve Changed — March 19, 2021

You’ve Changed

I’ve read a lot of self help books, listened to the audio books, gone to the conventions, done the meditation, I get it. We need to find and love ourselves and yadda yadda and so on.

Here’s what I’ve learned about myself. There are more than one side to me. I have emotions and different moods and different interest that make it impossible to put me into one category or one box. Even a big one (which it would have to be)! Ha see I can make fun of myself while also loving who I am and the many different versions.

There’s a lot of things not many people know. Like if I could go back and do anything over again… I’d join the military. It wasn’t an option that was presented to me in high school. No not because I’m a woman either. I’m not really sure why other than I was in high school during 9/11 and not many of the girls were jumping to head to Iraq. The point is, that side of me that would want to join, train, push myself, learn a ton, and ride or die serve my country is very appealing to me. It also would have been good for me. Helped the messy, lazier side of me.

The opposite side of me has the desire to be a debutante with fancy dresses, always put together, the vision of class and sophistication. I think overall military training would have helped that side of me. Instead I make due with what I have and try not to drop my kid off at school in my sweats. Try. I can proudly say that in almost a year that’s only happened once. Workout clothes don’t count yet. Baby steps. My friend and I have started a thing… we try to dress every day like we’re meeting and enemy. Which neither of us have but it sets the tone.

Then there’s gangsta Britt. She doesn’t come out often. Mostly cause my mom was not a huge fan and I grew up in the mountains surrounded by cowboys and jocks. Which was delightful overall. But I have that G side that wants to wear giant hoops and red lips while rocking an ‘I don’t care’ attitude and giant sunglasses. It’s really a Khloe Kardashian vibe. I have the sunglasses already.

I’m out going and shy. Introverted but also social. I like adventure and love staying home. I feel very strongly I don’t HAVE to be one thing or the other and my mood changes constantly. I make plans then decide I don’t want to go. That last one is mostly anxiety. Things always sound good then it comes to going and being around people I get uncomfortable. I do better in smaller groups.

I’m learning a lot about myself in my mid-thirties and going through this huge loss has rocked every side of me. It’s more of a struggle every day to put my self together and identify how I feel that day. The urge to stay in sweats is a strong one. Which is stupid because getting up, dressed, and ready to see an enemy actually feels great. It feels more normal and attempts to pull me back to myself. Whichever version that might be.

I read an article about how sometimes we are more comfortable around strangers than we are our own friends. The theory is that when we are around strangers we can try on new versions ourselves that we want to be without our friends calling us out with an “oh my gosh that’s so not you!” With strangers it can be us and they don’t know because they haven’t been around you for ages.

I agree with this. However I also think it depends on your friend group. I have very close friends who know all these sides of me and not one thinks “that’s not Brittany”. Because the closest ones to me know that I’m ever evolving. Because that’s what we’re supposed to do.

I hope no one judges me based on the person I was 15 years ago. Ugh!! Thank goodness I’ve changed and grown. I pray that I’ve matured. Grown more compassionate and understanding. I hope I’ve become less self centered. I know I’ve grown more sure of myself and am less insecure. I may have more anxiety but I have better tools and people to help me with that. I have a better relationship with God.

I like who I’m becoming. Yes I’m still becoming myself at 35. I’m a wife, a mom, a dog mom, a friend, a boss (yup the thought scares me too don’t worry), an employee, and most important I’m me. With all the sides and all the continuing changes. I’m grateful.

Good Golly Miss Molly! — March 28, 2019

Good Golly Miss Molly!

I like to joke that I chased my husband for 15 years before I caught him. That’s not 100% accurate but it’s not totally wrong either!

We met freshmen year and I was fascinated by him. He was a basketball and football player and he hung out with the cool kids. He was also painfully shy (he would argue now but it was true then). But that’s shyness made him mysterious and sexy. I hope he doesn’t read this cause it will go straight to his head.

Anyway we dated off and on, and while I always wanted him I’m glad he was a pain in my butt for a while. He says he broke up with me because he knew I was the one and if we stayed together in high school we wouldn’t have ended up together. Ummm nice try. Wasn’t born yesterday.

However he’s right. Please don’t tell him!!! Not only is he right I’m thankful he “choose” to wait until later for us to make it work. It gave me a chance to live my life and be wild and fun before we got married.

During my wild fun days my friend Jeanette and I would go up to the casino and play in poker games. We were two young girls who where seriously underestimated and often would win tournaments. We had a blast. We won money.

On top of being poker players we are both pretty avid readers (yes our husbands scored big time! Did I mean ruin we are also fantasy football enthusiasts?). She gave me the book Molly’s Game to read. True story about the 26 year old poker princess who was busted running high stakes poker games.

Great book! I loved her point of view and that it read like a novel so it kept me wondering what was going to happen. Overall the story shows that money doesn’t buy happiness and you develop a soft spot for the poker princess.

It also made me wanna play again. Yes I know the moral of the story was gambling is bad and doesn’t lead to good things and it can take you into super dark places. I get it. I also am trying to put together a group of girls to play!

For the record I’m talking $50-$100 buy in. Not $500,000 like she was dealing with. So no one here is going broke or ruining our lives.

Really I’m just excited to have another reason to get the girls together.

Wish me luck!

Happiness Is Relative — August 30, 2018

Happiness Is Relative

I read a post on Instagram a day or two ago and its stayed with me. Have you ever had that happen? Where you read something and like two or three days later you’re still annoyed by it?

I’m not the kind of person to comment on it and leave my opinion. Mostly because I don’t know this person so I’m sure they don’t care what I have to say, but also because I don’t want to be “troll”. Is that even the right word? I didn’t want to start a stupid argument over something that’s really just a difference of opinion.

Anyway back to the point. I follow the hash tag debtfreecommunity. I’m working on becoming debt free and want a better financial future that want is considered normal these days. This post said that they paid off all their debt and they weren’t happy. It was encouraging people to continue to live their lives and not to worry about paying off debt because it wont make you happy to be debt free.

Well no shit Sherlock!

Reason #3 I didn’t comment on the page…I have a lot to say about this!

Of course if you are a super unhappy person and depend on ANYTHING to make you happy, you wont be. Happiness is about perspective and gratitude and is something that you have to work at everyday. To expect that once you get all your debt paid off that angels are going to come sing for you and lift you up on a happiness cloud is ridiculous. YOU have to make yourself happy.

We are working our bums off to get out of debt and we really aren’t even in that bad! I can tell you when my car is paid off I will be the one singing and dancing and celebrating because I really will be so happy! Am I relying on it for my total happiness? Absolutely not! But its going to be a major bonus!

I’m also pretty dang happy with where we are now. We both make decent money and I was fortunate enough to have a job that let me come back an extra day occasionally. I am blessed to be able to teach Les Mills classes and get paid to work out. I’m happy that I get to spend time with my family and have great friends who understand when I say “No I can’t come out tonight I didn’t budget for it”.

That’s the magic word and I think that’s what this Instagram user had a problem with. If I had to guess anyway. I don’t know this person.

Getting out of debt is hard. You have to say no to things you want to do and things you really could afford. Depending on how you look at being able to afford things.

If you are using a credit card in the process we are in now you can’t afford it. For some people that doesn’t matter and good for you. I don’t have a problem with that cause its not my business. People use them then pay off the balance each month. I’d want to be able to pay cash for everything.

I can tell you that as of now I’m enjoying budgeting every paycheck down to the dollar and knowing what we can and can’t do. I get super excited when I budget and put money in savings or get to throw an extra $100 at the credit card or soon to be just my car payment. I love watching those balances drop!

Everyone is different just like every budget and financial goal is different. I just didn’t appreciate this person posting and discouraging people to become debt free. Its hard enough when we are all trying to stay positive and encourage each other. I don’t need the negative Nancy out there making things harder.

So to everyone on a budget with a goal just know you can do this! It will be worth it because you are worth it. You deserve the money you work for and shouldn’t have to give it away!

Sick of Summer — July 9, 2018

Sick of Summer

As a pluviophile learning to love summer I think I’ve been doing really well! We have had the best summer ever so far. Partly because I’ve branched out of my bubble and am actually doing things. Its amazing how much fun stuff is when you actually go.

Its also because Rylan is older and able to talk and do things for herself. She’s also wanting to do things to and actually play with kids which just blows my mind. I mean the first time we were out and she said “mama can I go play with those kids?” I literally got tears in my eyes.

So here we are enjoying summer (still shocked by this) and then BAM!!!! Rylan wakes up with a runny nose and cough that sounds like a dog who’s been de-barked. What the actual hell.

Determined not to crash and burn on the summer of fun I’m trying to find ways to make this not suck.

Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.

The obvious is Pedialyte popsicles. We’ve tried this in the past when she was younger and it was not a big hit. My hope is that since she’s older and helped me make them that she’ll be more interested in it.

As I’m sure you’ve figured out I’m not a normal mom. So it should come as no surprise that we have those little red solo plastic shot glasses. We don’t take shots of alcohol at all! But Rylan loves to drink water out of them. I save them for special occasions like when we bbq outside or when she’s sick and I need her to get as much fluids as possible. I know there’s not a lot in them but we set the timer for every 15 minutes and its a game for her.

We live on the corner of an intersection that gets a decent amount of traffic. Our house also has a ton of trees in the front and no shade at all in back. So we’ll be in our front yard on blankets enjoying the shade and eating pedialyte popsicles on blankets while yelling at people to slow down.

I don’t actually have a ton of tips. It basically comes down to anything goes as long as it keeps everyone somewhat happy. By happy I mean not drenched in tears or other bodily fluids.

I’ve got the essential oils going and am just hoping for the best! Finding the silver lining that I get quality time at home and on meds she actually naps.

Lots of reading time for both of us. I thought since I was reading about climbing Everest she would be interested. So laying with her I started reading out loud. She put her hand on my book and asked if I was reading for me or her. I said “I figured I’d read out loud so you can listen too”. Very seriously she rolled over and said “don’t”.

Open for more suggestions but so far doesn’t feel like I’m in Hell. We are surviving.

Sick Parenting — March 9, 2018

Sick Parenting

If you haven’t given your sick toddler fruit snacks for breakfast when their sick just so they’ll eat something, are you even a parent of a toddler?

That happened this morning. We spent Saturday in Urgent care and yesterday in the doctors office followed by the Emergency Room. Diagnosis: Pneumonia.

I learned a lot about our family in this Emergency process. I learned  my 3 year old can play opossum with the best of them. That’s right faking lethargy. I mean she was sick and tired and just wanted to cuddle but she wouldn’t even react when the doctor is listening to her lungs or to the pulse ox on her finger. Didn’t lift her head from my chest when a doctor or nurse was in the room.

When we leave the office she’s instantly Chatty Kathy asking pat where he was, and what took him so long to get there, and if we are going home, is he coming, why is he riding with us, and the best…telling us she’s fine and just wants to go watch Goldie and Bear. Opossum.

What I didn’t learn and am still trying to figure out is how do you parent a sick child? Where is the line between giving the fruit snacks for breakfast and totally losing control of your French parenting lifestyle goals? We try to be French and have a frame work of rules. I know we fail a lot but we have to have goals right?

For the most part we do okay. She listens pretty well and knows when we are serious about things. She gets time outs and yes I’ve patted her on the but before. But do you spank a sick kid? Do I put her in time out because she’s crying over the wrong color gummy vitamin? That seems a bit harsh since she clearly doesn’t feel good. On the other hand eat the damn gummy or cry in your room mommy is also tired now too.

Still this is a struggle for us. When you do stick to the rules and when do you let things slide because quite frankly when I’m sick the rules and expectations of me can suck it.

Its been a few days since I started writing this and I’m no closer to figuring it out. The only thing I can say is that she is a champ at taking medication! Even yucky antibiotics. She takes it herself and I feel like she’s in training for tequila shots. She takes the meds, has a juice chaser, and gets a gummy vitamin treat right after. Lick the salt, take the shot, suck the lime? I swear I’m a good mom! We can get concerned when she starts asking for chasers.

I think our saving grace was that I can use “doctors orders” for a lot of things! Threatening with having to go back to the hospital has also worked really well in my favor when trying to get her to do things. So bribes and blackmail is what it sounds like. Basically no different from my normal parenting style. Awesome.

To be clear there was a ton of cuddle time in my house. It was the silver lining that when she’s sick she just wants me by her side snuggled if the couch. Can’t complain about that one bit her snuggles are the very best. My hair can wait a few days to be washed anyway.

I found this podcast and am obsessed. Sounds like a tangent but its relevent I swear. It’s a parenting podcast and seriously the best one I’ve found yet! Here are  two links that literally had me laughing out loud while I was doing dishes and driving to and from work.

This is on sick day hacks   the other is on Whats up with toddlers

Seriously I feel like these girls are my spirit parents. One is great with research and both are just hysterical and so real. Refreshing and great with advice. Better advice than bribes and blackmail!

104 Degree Panic Attack — January 19, 2018

104 Degree Panic Attack

“Where the thermometer? I think she has a fever!” I yell to Pat as I’m changing Rylans diaper.

“She doesn’t have a fever we just checked it an hour ago” Pat rolls his eyes as he hands me the thermometer.

I love that he can roll his eyes while doing what I want. No matter how ridiculous he always humors me.

That was a little less than 3 years ago. Every new mother has a thing. For me her thing was her temperature. I can feel the judgment from here, yes I’m sure I had more than one thing but at this point the fever was my biggest obsession.

I took her temp constantly and was always worried about her having a fever. She ran super hot all the time. Mainly at night and that hasn’t gone away. I’ve just learned that if I have to question if there’s a fever or not… there’s not.

Which brings me to this past 2 weeks ago. She woke up crying and when I picked her up there was no doubt she had a fever. We snuggled on the couch and she was so warm I considered turning on the AC.

I took her temp and as expected it was 102. It ranged from 100 to 104 for the next two days. I know I should have taken her to the ER right away but I work in a medical office I know how this goes. It’s a virus and there’s nothing they can do but alternate Tylenol and Motrin and keep her cool and do baths…yadda yadda yadda. So that’s what we did.

Come Thursday morning her temp had started to go down on its own but we made an apt for her anyway. Turns out it was a double ear infection! One of which had possibly ruptured! Awesome job mom.

Nothing makes you feel like a worse mother than NOT taking her to the doctor, only to find out she has a ruptured ear drum. I will no longer question whether or not to take her in. If I’m thinking about I’m doing it. Bring on the hypochondriac comments I’ll take the punch.

My 3 year old sassy pants did not even complain this whole time. The same kid who threw herself on the ground and screamed because I tried to put the wrong pants on her never once mentioned that her ears hurt. That’s the only thing saving me from really believing I’m a terrible mom.

Not even a week after this happened she’s feeling better and wanting to read stories before bed time again. We were reading the book “The Sleep Fairy”. To whoever bought that book for me I think you owe me money for it. Who busy a book as a present that makes the parents buy their children presents every night they sleep in their bed by themselves? We are on a budget! I’d rather her sleep in bed with me!

Luckily for me my kid is a little weird and after listening to the whole story cuddled in to me very concerned. She put the book down and said “mama, if the sleep fairy tries to come in my room and put something under my pillow while I’m sleeping….I’m going to scream.”

I’ve never been more proud! Glad she’s feeling better and back to being feisty. Next time we are going to the doctor. Then I’ll buy her a present!

You Have To Host —

You Have To Host

I’m a flake.

I don’t want to be. But its true.

I love making plans. The idea of doing all the things is very appealing to me and always sounds great. But when it comes to actually doing all the things I lose motivation, and to be honest I get a little anxiety.

My friend once told me she makes back up plans when she makes plans with me. I’m not even mad! I actually thought “well that’s smart!” followed by “I wonder what the back up plans are and if I want to do that”.

So I complain that we all don’t get together enough and then I don’t show up. Yes I suck so hard!

That’s my new years resolution this year. Get ready cause its a long important one. Spend more time with my friends!! What a crazy concept!  Seriously though I want to spend more time with the friends that make me happy. The ones that make me laugh, that I can cry with, that my kid can be a brat in front of and they wont judge me when I flick her in the arm. Not hard, just enough so she knocks it off.

This started with my sister-in-law around Thanksgiving. I was complaining about all my groups of friends never doing anything and never getting together. So she asked a ground breaking, life changing question of “do you ever host”?

No. Point blank. No. I live in a bird house with hardly any room to live let alone entertain.

She hosts all the time and has once a month things like book club, dinner club, moms night, family night, movie night, and I’m sure I’m missing quite a few more clubs/nights. I’m not even sure there’s enough nights in a month to fit all her “once a months”. But she does it and makes it look effortless. She always has something going on and has been part of my motivation to make things happen. In the friends department… career is still a hot mess.

Okay I’ll start reaching out. Hosting. But not at my house. I have to get creative about this.

I talked to one of my best friends about this. She agreed. She is always the hostess too and does an amazing job of it. Maybe I’ll “host” at her house next time! Any way she brought up another thing to think about in my new master plan at becoming a better friend. She said “if you want people to come to things you host you have to show up to things too”. Well said bff…… well said.

So I’m going to be a better friend and show up to things. No more flaking on people. I promise to come if I say I’m going to. Or at the very least be honest if I have no intention of coming.

I’ve already started this new me thing. I went to the casino last night (yup on a Thursday) to support a fellow instructor and watch her band play. It was great. I had a drink, I danced my bum off, and was home before 10. Brilliant.

Bonus: I shocked a few people in showing up! Reputations can’t be changed in a day so I don’t blame people for doubting me. Also I know there was no better back up plan since they were still going there no matter what.

The next thing I am trying to put together is a Paint & Sip party with a big group. Whoever wants to come can if not, next time.

Fun things to come for the new me. I’m open to creative suggestions!

Photo of some friends celebrating Jeanette’s birthday!

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