104 Degree Panic Attack

“Where the thermometer? I think she has a fever!” I yell to Pat as I’m changing Rylans diaper.

“She doesn’t have a fever we just checked it an hour ago” Pat rolls his eyes as he hands me the thermometer.

I love that he can roll his eyes while doing what I want. No matter how ridiculous he always humors me.

That was a little less than 3 years ago. Every new mother has a thing. For me her thing was her temperature. I can feel the judgment from here, yes I’m sure I had more than one thing but at this point the fever was my biggest obsession.

I took her temp constantly and was always worried about her having a fever. She ran super hot all the time. Mainly at night and that hasn’t gone away. I’ve just learned that if I have to question if there’s a fever or not… there’s not.

Which brings me to this past 2 weeks ago. She woke up crying and when I picked her up there was no doubt she had a fever. We snuggled on the couch and she was so warm I considered turning on the AC.

I took her temp and as expected it was 102. It ranged from 100 to 104 for the next two days. I know I should have taken her to the ER right away but I work in a medical office I know how this goes. It’s a virus and there’s nothing they can do but alternate Tylenol and Motrin and keep her cool and do baths…yadda yadda yadda. So that’s what we did.

Come Thursday morning her temp had started to go down on its own but we made an apt for her anyway. Turns out it was a double ear infection! One of which had possibly ruptured! Awesome job mom.

Nothing makes you feel like a worse mother than NOT taking her to the doctor, only to find out she has a ruptured ear drum. I will no longer question whether or not to take her in. If I’m thinking about I’m doing it. Bring on the hypochondriac comments I’ll take the punch.

My 3 year old sassy pants did not even complain this whole time. The same kid who threw herself on the ground and screamed because I tried to put the wrong pants on her never once mentioned that her ears hurt. That’s the only thing saving me from really believing I’m a terrible mom.

Not even a week after this happened she’s feeling better and wanting to read stories before bed time again. We were reading the book “The Sleep Fairy”. To whoever bought that book for me I think you owe me money for it. Who busy a book as a present that makes the parents buy their children presents every night they sleep in their bed by themselves? We are on a budget! I’d rather her sleep in bed with me!

Luckily for me my kid is a little weird and after listening to the whole story cuddled in to me very concerned. She put the book down and said “mama, if the sleep fairy tries to come in my room and put something under my pillow while I’m sleeping….I’m going to scream.”

I’ve never been more proud! Glad she’s feeling better and back to being feisty. Next time we are going to the doctor. Then I’ll buy her a present!

You Have To Host

I’m a flake.

I don’t want to be. But its true.

I love making plans. The idea of doing all the things is very appealing to me and always sounds great. But when it comes to actually doing all the things I lose motivation, and to be honest I get a little anxiety.

My friend once told me she makes back up plans when she makes plans with me. I’m not even mad! I actually thought “well that’s smart!” followed by “I wonder what the back up plans are and if I want to do that”.

So I complain that we all don’t get together enough and then I don’t show up. Yes I suck so hard!

That’s my new years resolution this year. Get ready cause its a long important one. Spend more time with my friends!! What a crazy concept!  Seriously though I want to spend more time with the friends that make me happy. The ones that make me laugh, that I can cry with, that my kid can be a brat in front of and they wont judge me when I flick her in the arm. Not hard, just enough so she knocks it off.

This started with my sister-in-law around Thanksgiving. I was complaining about all my groups of friends never doing anything and never getting together. So she asked a ground breaking, life changing question of “do you ever host”?

No. Point blank. No. I live in a bird house with hardly any room to live let alone entertain.

She hosts all the time and has once a month things like book club, dinner club, moms night, family night, movie night, and I’m sure I’m missing quite a few more clubs/nights. I’m not even sure there’s enough nights in a month to fit all her “once a months”. But she does it and makes it look effortless. She always has something going on and has been part of my motivation to make things happen. In the friends department… career is still a hot mess.

Okay I’ll start reaching out. Hosting. But not at my house. I have to get creative about this.

I talked to one of my best friends about this. She agreed. She is always the hostess too and does an amazing job of it. Maybe I’ll “host” at her house next time! Any way she brought up another thing to think about in my new master plan at becoming a better friend. She said “if you want people to come to things you host you have to show up to things too”. Well said bff…… well said.

So I’m going to be a better friend and show up to things. No more flaking on people. I promise to come if I say I’m going to. Or at the very least be honest if I have no intention of coming.

I’ve already started this new me thing. I went to the casino last night (yup on a Thursday) to support a fellow instructor and watch her band play. It was great. I had a drink, I danced my bum off, and was home before 10. Brilliant.

Bonus: I shocked a few people in showing up! Reputations can’t be changed in a day so I don’t blame people for doubting me. Also I know there was no better back up plan since they were still going there no matter what.

The next thing I am trying to put together is a Paint & Sip party with a big group. Whoever wants to come can if not, next time.

Fun things to come for the new me. I’m open to creative suggestions!

Photo of some friends celebrating Jeanette’s birthday!

LITERALLY Sick of Summer


“I want to punch you” my sister-in-law Jen says to me one day while I’m whining about being  a parent.

“I know, I know, we have it really good I’m just saying this is way harder than I thought it was going to be”. I try to justify myself.

My sister-in-law is the best. I scored big time! I’m not just saying that incase she’s reading this either its the truth. Anyone who knows her can vouch for that. Anyone who knows me knows I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.

She’s also totally justified in wanting to punch me for complaining. My husband and I live in our home town where we were born and raised.  When we first met I lived on “family hill”. My grandparents live right next to my parents, and I lived 3 houses down. My husband lived on “family court”. Lived in his parents down stairs close to his aunt and uncles houses but also one street over from my  aunt and grandpa. I swear our town is not as po-dunk as I’m making it sound.

Anyway when I went back to work after Rylan was born I was blessed with not having to find child care. Rylan was with my mom on Wednesdays, Thursdays my grandma and mother in law would share the day, Fridays she was with my dad. I’m shocked my sister-in-law still talks to me actually.

Jen lives in Chico and while she has family there (aunts and cousins) they all work full-time and don’t have the luxury of taking entire days off during the week to help her. So yeah, she’s allowed to hate me.

Friday of this week I got a sore throat. Like couldn’t talk, kind of sore throat. It quickly escalated to a runny nose and into body aches, hot and cold flashes, and an 80 yr old smokers cough.

I was pretty bummed it hurt so bad to talk because I was really looking forward to calling my best friends and singing Phoebe’s rendition of “Smelly Cat” in my sexy sick voice.

Not only did I have it but Rylan got it too. Which meant our weekend and the first Sunday football of the season was spent in bed being taken care of by my husband. Thanks to the TV in my room I got to watch my Raiders win. Thanks to DayQuil and Alieve I didn’t have to watch my Niners lose. I beat my other sister-in-law in fantasy so, you know, glass half full.

But come Monday Rylan and I were both sick and my husband had to go back to work. Never had I wanted to parent less in my life. I finally got a glimpse of what Jen deals with on a regular basis. Rylan couldn’t go to school because she was sick, my parents were both at work, Pats parents were both in Chico (well-played Jen haha), and I wanted to die. Not to mention no one wants to babysit a sick kid.

Of course my kid is sick but also has energy to run from her bed room to the living room, grabbing a bite of food, then back to her room to watch her show on her iPad. Yes she got it all day because I was dying. No mom shaming or Karma’s going to bitch slap you with my cold/flu.

Any way we survived on power aid, Dora the explore an over the counter medication. Oh and an offensive amount of essential oils. If you even walk by our house right now you might sneeze, feel, relaxed, and have your mood lifted all at the same time! Maybe give it some time though we were all just sick.

So ending the summer with the worst cold in history and sending Jen my sincerest apologies and promises to help more in the future. More trips to Chico, more taking her kids when I can, more nights out without the kids when she’s here. That last one just makes sense with so many babysitters in town we can have some much needed fun.

Side note: looking for cute sister-in-law quotes or pictures on Pinterest to add on here…. there aren’t any! They are all so mean! Once again bragging about how blessed I am. But thank you Jesus for two great sister-in-laws that don’t make me post horrible thing about them. So you got a picture of Rylan and her cousins instead.

 

 

Potty problems

“Mama can we get Reba today?” She very sweetly asked me after she went pee pee on the potty.

“Not today love we talked about this. It’s going to be a little while before we can get a kitten. You have to go on the potty all the time no more diapers”. I try to remind her.

Reba is a kitten at the humane society that loves her! If we were ready to get a cat she would be it for sure.

Yes I bribed my kid with a kitten to help with potty training. Except here’s the thing… it didn’t work!  I started this bribe about 6 months ago when she randomly went pee on the potty.

We thought “oh wow this is going to be so easy! She’s just over two and doing it all by herself”.  Oh how young and stupid we were!

She didn’t go for at least 6 months after that! Refused. Wouldn’t even sit on the potty.

I’m aware of all different “techniques” to potty train and I’m sure they’ve all worked for some people.

The 3 day method. Locking myself at home with toddler for three days and focusing on nothing but potty training sound horrible! I can’t think of anything worse.

The naked method. Letting her run around outside naked and encouraging her to go wherever. That sounds better but eh who has the time. Plus it’s hotter than hades outside and one accident in my living room was enough.

“Mama I poo pooed” she said to me as she handed me an EMPTY diaper.

“Okay love bug that’s awesome but where did you poo poo” I ask her even though I really didn’t want to know.

She takes my hand and directs me to the living room with the toddler poop sitting right in the center of the floor. I can just picture it. While I’m brushing my teeth she’s squatting on the living room floor watching Dora so proud she’s not going in her diaper.

So that’s a no on the naked method for us.

People have told us not to force it. Even my sister-in-law Dr Jen told us it’s not worth it to push her. That she’ll start doing it one day without even having to be told.

This was a relief to me. To be honest I was getting sick of everyone constantly asking her to go pee pee on the potty. My husband would ask her every 15 minutes to the point where I would answer with a “she just told you no! Let it go!” I meant for that to stay in my head. Sorry honey. 

Sure enough a week ago she started going pee on the potty. Just like Dr Jen said she would. No warning, no pushing, no parents arguing, and 0 hours spent annoyed on the bathroom floor.

We have a long way ahead of us and are now in the midst of false alarms and accidents and the nightmare of public restrooms.

I respect her curious nature and while I laugh when it’s not my kid, it’s humiliating when you’re trying to pee and your toddler gets on the nasty floor to see “what that lady doing mama?” Ew child get off the floor and now we have to sit in here till she’s gone!

I don’t think there’s a support group for potty training mom’s like there is for breast feeding but feel free to message me. We can support each other. 

Also we still have not had to get a kitten. Silver lining. 

Fear of Failing 

Do you believe in signs? Like from the universe? Signs from God? Something pushing you to something you didn’t think was in your plan?

That might be a little dramatic interpretation of what was happening for me but I like to think if you listen to the universe it will guide you the right way.

I LOVE podcasts! I want to start my own. I’m just working up to it and in the process. In the mean time I love listening to other ones. I have an extremely wide range of ones I listen to from mom podcasts to finance to self encouragement and happiness motivators. I even have some kid ones and story telling ones.

Yesterday I did a lot of driving so I was able to listen to Lori Harder interview Dave Asprey and it was amazing. He discussed his coffee and books and motivated me to want to try it all! He’s truly amazing and I can’t wait to get it all ordered. As soon as I budget for it. So probably next month!

My first sign of the day came from Dave saying that we have to give up our fear of failing. It’s okay to fail it doesn’t make us bad people it. I’ve heard  it before that failing is not the end. That it’s a learning experience and a stepping stone but something about the way he put it was super motivating.

It was freeing to think that people will support you no matter what. Most of them anyway. Like for me with this blog. I have no idea how it will come along or if I’ll eventually get my podcast. I know that I will work hard for it and keep pushing along. Even if no one reads this I’ll still write because its fun for me. So failing isn’t a fear because I’ll be okay either way. Success is preferred but I will enjoy the ride either way.  So thank you Dave Asprey!

The second sign pushing me towards letting go of fear was from one of my favorite authors and podcast Melanie Dale . In that link she interviews Kari Sowers who also comes up with the same advise. Get rid of that fear of failure.

TWICE in one day that was preached to me and I’m extremely grateful. That’s the purpose of these podcast and the message was received loud and clear!

It was exactly what I needed and what I hope to pass on to anyone who reads this!

I’m going full force with my budget planning and continuing hard-core on the debt snowball. For some reason that was a fear in my head. That we would put in all this hard work on becoming debt free only for something to happen. But losing the fear of failing is freeing in that sense too. Who cares if we have a set back! So what if it takes longer to pay everything off! As long as I don’t stop and don’t let fear hold me back I can see the future of financial freedom!

On my minimalism quest, one day at a time and I can’t fail. Yes my minimalism has gone from a journey to a quest! But no fear in this quest! Cleaning things out and getting rid of things on purpose! Not being scared of failure. If I fail and I’m not a true minimalist by a certain date that I haven’t even set yet… its okay. I’ll survive with plenty of time to keep getting rid of things.

All of this isn’t to say that we should just be lazy and cavalier about pursuing our dreams and goals. But more that we should do it with even more enthusiasm and excitement because if we fail, guess what? It wont kill us!  Strangely enough that’s also become my parenting style of an almost 3-year-old… but did you die? Another post in itself.

Another thing Kari Sowers said that hit hard was about making sure you are paying attention to the things that are priorities to YOU. Not to someone else, or what you think should be a priority to you, but what really matters to you. If having a clean house is important make it a priority. If spending time with your family is more important than do that.

I don’t have Facebook. It’s not a priority to me. I find ways to talk to the people I care about. Whether that’s instagram or Voxer or leaving my sister-in-law super annoying voice memos over text messaging. Her voicemail is always full so I force my voice on her anyway I can. (Just wait till I have my own podcast *evil laugh*)

Also losing that fear of failing means losing the fear of what other people think. In a big way! Because true friends and good people will not look at you different if you fail. They will help you get back up. They will encourage you to keep going and often times its them who wont let you fail in the first place.

Anyone who would judge your or think differently of you for failing doesn’t belong with you anyway and is probably holding you back. In which case failing and getting rid of them is actually winning and growing! So high-five, head up, moving on!

Leaving you today with my favorite quote from Jennifer Lawrence “Not everyone likes me… but not everyone matters”. Well said celebrity spirit friend. Well said.