It Feels Like Goodbye

I deleted my Instagram. Well lets not get carried away. I deleted my Instagram App on my phone.

Have you ever seen a post and had strong feelings about it? Then continued to read other peoples comments on it and get even more heated? I’ve read both posts and responses and felt myself getting angry and wanting to reply with my own thoughts and opinions. Then before I hit send I got slapped with a reality check. These people are nobody’s.

I’m sure they are someone special to the people in their lives but they have no significance in my life what so ever. Want proof? I deleted the app and now they no longer exist to me at all. In a few selections on my phone I made them vanish from my life and you know what? It felt good.

There was a post the other day on Instagram from the Food Network where a mom made homemade pasta with her kids. It was adorable. I read the comments and people were BASHING her for the way she did it. Using a certain kind of flour and that she used eggs when she shouldn’t. Are you kidding me people? What is wrong with us that we feel we need to leave mean comments everywhere? You don’t like the way she did it? DON’T DO IT THAT WAY. But guess what? No one else cares!

I understand commenting on some stuff but can’t we just keep it positive? so you don’t like the way a mom does something, it is possible to think your thought and move on with your day. You don’t have to post it. Shocking I know.

Why are we so worried about what every one else is doing? Isn’t it exhausting? Isn’t being a woman, mom, friend, wife, even just being a human enough? Why are we making it more difficult?

Why are we trying to one up each other? Why are we trying to prove we are the best mom? Or cook? Or athlete?

We should be trying to prove that we are kind. That we care about people as humans. I want to raise Rylan to love everyone. I want her to be kind to everyone. Even those that aren’t kind to her. Chances are those are the ones who need a hug the most. She doesn’t have to hug everyone because lets be real… day care germs. But I’d like the sentiment to be there.

So yes I deleted Instagram. I want to live this summer like a kid from the 80’s. I want to spend my time at the lake and the pool and hiking around the most beautiful places in California (I say California cause I live there and while I want to travel, I’m realistic about hiking and traveling with at 4 year old. I’m not crazy). We live an hour from Yosemite. I should be there every day off. I want to do all these things with out worrying about an Instagram photo or stopping to see who liked it.

Rylan and I are doing things this summer that we want to do.  Things that make us happy not add more stress to our lives. I’m not going to put us in situations that cause us stress anymore.

This also means I’m deleting this website. Its a great outlet for me and I’ve enjoyed putting my thoughts online but I have a journal at home that basically gets the same number of views. *laughing out loud!* not a pity party at all! I have not invested a ton of time or energy into this so I haven’t expected to be making money from it. It started out as fun and its ending on a good note.

Best wishes to everyone! I hope you enjoy your summer as much as we plan to!

Oh and remember if you can’t say anything nice, take a look in the mirror and figure out why you’re being negative. The only thing you can change is your attitude not someone else’s opinion.

 

 

Happiness Is Relative

I read a post on Instagram a day or two ago and its stayed with me. Have you ever had that happen? Where you read something and like two or three days later you’re still annoyed by it?

I’m not the kind of person to comment on it and leave my opinion. Mostly because I don’t know this person so I’m sure they don’t care what I have to say, but also because I don’t want to be “troll”. Is that even the right word? I didn’t want to start a stupid argument over something that’s really just a difference of opinion.

Anyway back to the point. I follow the hash tag debtfreecommunity. I’m working on becoming debt free and want a better financial future that want is considered normal these days. This post said that they paid off all their debt and they weren’t happy. It was encouraging people to continue to live their lives and not to worry about paying off debt because it wont make you happy to be debt free.

Well no shit Sherlock!

Reason #3 I didn’t comment on the page…I have a lot to say about this!

Of course if you are a super unhappy person and depend on ANYTHING to make you happy, you wont be. Happiness is about perspective and gratitude and is something that you have to work at everyday. To expect that once you get all your debt paid off that angels are going to come sing for you and lift you up on a happiness cloud is ridiculous. YOU have to make yourself happy.

We are working our bums off to get out of debt and we really aren’t even in that bad! I can tell you when my car is paid off I will be the one singing and dancing and celebrating because I really will be so happy! Am I relying on it for my total happiness? Absolutely not! But its going to be a major bonus!

I’m also pretty dang happy with where we are now. We both make decent money and I was fortunate enough to have a job that let me come back an extra day occasionally. I am blessed to be able to teach Les Mills classes and get paid to work out. I’m happy that I get to spend time with my family and have great friends who understand when I say “No I can’t come out tonight I didn’t budget for it”.

That’s the magic word and I think that’s what this Instagram user had a problem with. If I had to guess anyway. I don’t know this person.

Getting out of debt is hard. You have to say no to things you want to do and things you really could afford. Depending on how you look at being able to afford things.

If you are using a credit card in the process we are in now you can’t afford it. For some people that doesn’t matter and good for you. I don’t have a problem with that cause its not my business. People use them then pay off the balance each month. I’d want to be able to pay cash for everything.

I can tell you that as of now I’m enjoying budgeting every paycheck down to the dollar and knowing what we can and can’t do. I get super excited when I budget and put money in savings or get to throw an extra $100 at the credit card or soon to be just my car payment. I love watching those balances drop!

Everyone is different just like every budget and financial goal is different. I just didn’t appreciate this person posting and discouraging people to become debt free. Its hard enough when we are all trying to stay positive and encourage each other. I don’t need the negative Nancy out there making things harder.

So to everyone on a budget with a goal just know you can do this! It will be worth it because you are worth it. You deserve the money you work for and shouldn’t have to give it away!

Free Tony

I was at the San Jose Unleash the Power Within Seminar. Thats right I was front and center for the Me Too fiasco. Well more like first level up, but I had a great view of the ridiculousness.

Thats right I called it ridiculousness. Anyone who claims that he was “bashing” the movement or anything of that nature truly wasn’t listening. INCLUDING the woman in the video who stood up and spoke. (Side note: whoever gave her a mic should be kicked in the nuts).

I WAS THERE. To anyone who wants to argue. I’ve seen the footage and they are leaving out key parts of the message to get their point across. Shocking right? No one ever does that in the news anymore.

I should have started this with some strong woman speech because I truly believe I am. I support other women whole heartedly and truly think that the #metoo movement is great thing.  When its being used correctly. Which was exactly what he was saying.

“With great power comes great responsibility”. Right? But with great power and a great platform comes an element of risk. There’s a chance for someone to take advantage. If you sit there and tell me that EVERY SINGLE CLAIM in the Movement is sincere and just, than you are delusional. With any movement you have to know that there will be some people who will try and use it with their own motives. Sadly thats what happens when we have free will.

Its a sad truth that people would do this but you can’t deny that its happened. Yes its offensive to people who have truly gone through something horrible. To people who really have a reason to stand up and say this has happened to me too and it has to stop. That’s what takes away from it. Not Tony.

He didn’t mention his friend who was scared to hire a woman until after this lady stood up and started in on him. That was NEVER the original intent of the message. The message was that people have 6 human needs. We all do. One of them is to feel significant and these days there are so many ways to do that not all of them are good. We have to choose good ways to make ourselves feel significant, not by tearing other people down.

If we were all so incredibly honest there wouldn’t be a movement to begin with and there would be no war and we’d all be living in peace. I think we can all AT LEAST agree thats not happening.

Using the movement as a way to get your significance is happening. We all have to be careful with the stones we throw and that was his point. Thank you to whoever brought this out like this and made it seem like something it wasn’t because all you’ve done is make me agree with him more and prove the point that people do stupid shit to feel significant. To whoever did I’m sure you do feel significant… enjoy it cause it will only last about 10 minutes.

I stand by the fact that I had an amazing time at the seminar. I took nothing but positivity away from the whole thing and have since been trying to treat people better and am making radical changes to myself. It feels fantastic and I’m forever grateful for having gone to the seminar.