It Feels Like Goodbye

I deleted my Instagram. Well lets not get carried away. I deleted my Instagram App on my phone.

Have you ever seen a post and had strong feelings about it? Then continued to read other peoples comments on it and get even more heated? I’ve read both posts and responses and felt myself getting angry and wanting to reply with my own thoughts and opinions. Then before I hit send I got slapped with a reality check. These people are nobody’s.

I’m sure they are someone special to the people in their lives but they have no significance in my life what so ever. Want proof? I deleted the app and now they no longer exist to me at all. In a few selections on my phone I made them vanish from my life and you know what? It felt good.

There was a post the other day on Instagram from the Food Network where a mom made homemade pasta with her kids. It was adorable. I read the comments and people were BASHING her for the way she did it. Using a certain kind of flour and that she used eggs when she shouldn’t. Are you kidding me people? What is wrong with us that we feel we need to leave mean comments everywhere? You don’t like the way she did it? DON’T DO IT THAT WAY. But guess what? No one else cares!

I understand commenting on some stuff but can’t we just keep it positive? so you don’t like the way a mom does something, it is possible to think your thought and move on with your day. You don’t have to post it. Shocking I know.

Why are we so worried about what every one else is doing? Isn’t it exhausting? Isn’t being a woman, mom, friend, wife, even just being a human enough? Why are we making it more difficult?

Why are we trying to one up each other? Why are we trying to prove we are the best mom? Or cook? Or athlete?

We should be trying to prove that we are kind. That we care about people as humans. I want to raise Rylan to love everyone. I want her to be kind to everyone. Even those that aren’t kind to her. Chances are those are the ones who need a hug the most. She doesn’t have to hug everyone because lets be real… day care germs. But I’d like the sentiment to be there.

So yes I deleted Instagram. I want to live this summer like a kid from the 80’s. I want to spend my time at the lake and the pool and hiking around the most beautiful places in California (I say California cause I live there and while I want to travel, I’m realistic about hiking and traveling with at 4 year old. I’m not crazy). We live an hour from Yosemite. I should be there every day off. I want to do all these things with out worrying about an Instagram photo or stopping to see who liked it.

Rylan and I are doing things this summer that we want to do.  Things that make us happy not add more stress to our lives. I’m not going to put us in situations that cause us stress anymore.

This also means I’m deleting this website. Its a great outlet for me and I’ve enjoyed putting my thoughts online but I have a journal at home that basically gets the same number of views. *laughing out loud!* not a pity party at all! I have not invested a ton of time or energy into this so I haven’t expected to be making money from it. It started out as fun and its ending on a good note.

Best wishes to everyone! I hope you enjoy your summer as much as we plan to!

Oh and remember if you can’t say anything nice, take a look in the mirror and figure out why you’re being negative. The only thing you can change is your attitude not someone else’s opinion.

 

 

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Internet frustration

Okay I’m going to go on a first world problem rant.

The internet. The best and worst thing to ever happen to us. This instant gratification has spoiled and quite frankly ruined us.

Me in particular. I didn’t need another reason to be impatient. I didn’t need another distraction from life. I was fine singing the wrong words to songs and waiting until a certain actresses name came to me in the middle of the night.

What I’m not fine with is depending on it so much. Trying to submit my BodyCombat video for certification now and this is the 978th attempt. Slow internet, loss of connection, low battery, and just straight timing out has all been a factor at least once!

Not to mention I got it submitted only to get an email that it failed. Well shit.

The email also came with 4 other forms of technology that I could use to send this video of myself teaching in. NOT MY FAVORITE.

I hate looking at myself. Not because I think I’m fat because I’m working on that but because it’s me. I just don’t love it.

So while it downloads I have a few hours to look at my hunched shoulders and funky sports bra choice. Awesome.

*5 hours later*

Video is submitted. I feel like I should have a camera on me like the Blair Witch Project.  Sweating, snot, blood-shot eyes the whole thing.

But the video is in. All I can do is wait.

Also the cat pulled down all the cords and everything that connected the internet so I had to restart everything. Yes the cat is still alive but I haven’t seen it in about an hour since I threw a stuffed animal at it and chased it behind the couch with a Swiffer mop.

Again I’m aware its first world problems. But really as amazing as it is…. the internet sucks.

 

TIME FOR TV

Let talk TV! I don’t ever do this because rarely do I watch enough tv to give my opinion. Plus I’m not emotionally stable to watch ay of the super popular shows like This Is Us or whatever. Parenthood almost ruined me!

Can’t watch the crime shows either! Pat and I used to watch it all the time. The CSI’s the Bones and his favorite NCIS. You know, all the Initial shows. Those are fine till you have kid then everything seems real and you just want to throw up while watching it. I can’t even get through the opening scene without tears in my eyes. Nothing happens but I know that the people I just got instantly attached to are going to die and I”ll be devastated.

We aren’t big movie people now that we have Rylan either. Surprisingly I can handle the cartoons she likes! Well most of them anyway. I like Zootopia and the Ice Ages ones. Masha The Bear makes me want to scream! No wonder Masha lives with a bear I’m sure her parents put a lot of thought into a “camping trip”.

Between life and Rylans shows that leaves little time for Pat and I to have our own tv quality time. We start a series but if we miss too many and the DVR starts to build up I get stressed out and give up. I delete it and months later when Pat asks what happened to that one show we liked I explain every time that we were never going to catch up and to let it go.  So we really only have time for our own separate shows that you can watch whenever you have time and are alone.

I love the house wives. Not all of them because I don’t have that kind of time and to be honest some of them are too much even for me. That’s saying something. I like Beverly Hills and Orange County… I’ll catch up on Dallas when I have nothing else in the world going on.

But my new favorite show is on Amazon Prime. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It’s the best thing to happen to TV since Friends or How I Met Your mother. Both of which I could watch on repeat 24/7 and never get bored. Thats how highly I’m praising this show just 7 episodes in.

I’m not sure if it’s because I love the time period or the clothes or the fact that she is just down right hilarious but its a must watch for sure! She’s a strong independent woman and that’s how I justify having it on while Rylans awake running through the house. Good role model right? No Rylan doesn’t get to watch it. But I’m obsessed.

She totally makes me want to rock red lipstick but I know I couldn’t pull it off like that. All the same I try from time to time and feel like an actress in her time period. I need the clothes to match. Hats! Oh she rocks the crap out of some hats! Seriously it’s so funny and I think its my new favorite thing. Three days and we’ve gone through 7 episodes! Yup staying up late to make time for it!

So right now that’s the obsession! If anyone has any books that resemble this that you think I’d like I would LOVE to read them.

I need another book club book and am in a super big funk. Signed up for Kindle Unlimited and nothing sounds good. Its like being hungry but nothing sounds good so you just sit there hungry than crabby. That’s where I’m at right now. Any help is appreciated.